It will be your kind to read and correct my essay. Thanks beforehand.
[color=darkred]In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students.do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details
Teenage period is a period for learning, playing, and preparing. With doing jobs they would lose such opportunity and future will become dark for them. Teenagers have not to be worry about money and time scheduling. They have to be free to do anything they like. Having fun is one of the most important necessities for this period.
Teenagers must have time and opportunity to learn. They have to study hard and try in this way. They must try for earning opportunities such as entering university and gaining sport clubs. Entering to university or sport club can change one’s life entirely. Losing such opportunity can lead to undesirable consequences. They must be trained for picturing better future for themselves. With having job, teenagers will not have time to study firm, and they may lose their interest for school and study; as a result they may leave school.
To be worry about being on time at job, getting up early in the morning to arrive at time, doing some especial thing for preparing to the job; is not the things that a teenagers should be concern about. A teenager should be calm. Teenagers don’t like to be supervised or punished by somebody other than their own father or mother. Such punishment which can be from jobs supervisor or manager can have some psychological aftermath.
At this period of life, any human beings like to have fun. Doing sports, playing games, going out with friends, have their own enjoyment at this period. Being away from these joys is not bearable. Such persons can be sad ones at their adulthood. They maybe never could enjoy their life as much as their counterpart or they may lose their spirit and become some senseless person.
Doing job can bring us experiences, but it has its own age. Teenage is not an age to be busy with jobs. In this period we have to learn, with studying, playing, going out with our friends, etc. After learning life skills and some job skills we can enter to job market, after earning some knowledge and choosing our own way.
TOEFL listening discussions: Why is the student talking to the advisor?