Dear Luschen, please give some feedback on my essay. Thanks a lot !
It has remained a subject of constant debate whether the unprecedented proliferation of advertising induces positive or negative impacts on society. Personally, I firmly believe that this trend offers both merits and demerits. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspective.
On the one hand, the reasons why advertising is beneficial are manifold. Firstly, being exposed to an ever increasing amount of advertising, individuals can be kept informed about details of newly-launched products. As a result, a wide variety of options is available to customers, contributing to the enhancement of their living standards. Another benefit of advertising lies in the fact that it dispenses employment opportunities for people who work as content marketers, graphic designers, and copywriters. The more commercials there are, the less serious unemployment becomes.
On the other hand, the large-scale explosion of advertising can have several adverse effects on society. Undeniably, as digital advertising becomes ubiquitous, Internet users are more likely to be overwhelmed with constant images and signs. Never before had pop-ups been so pervasive as they are nowadays, which is intrusive and irritating. Furthermore, for commercial purposes, companies and businesses may exaggerate or even distort facts related to their products, which confuses rather than help customers. For instance, false advertising can claim that a product contains vitamin and mineral supplements but in fact it does not. Lastly, due to advertising techniques such as using celebrity endorsement, customers cannot resist the temptation of advertised products and thus make impulsive purchases.
In conclusion, while I recognise the benefits that thriving advertising industry brings to individuals and the society as a whole, I hold the opinion that it also has negative impacts that urgently need mitigating.
Hi Le Khoi, first let me say that your writing is excellent here. You have used a wide variety of complex vocabulary words, only one of which is not quite on target. Furthermore, you have very few grammar errors. I am a little worried about your Task Achievement though. The prompt is asking whether this is a positive OR negative development, but in your essay I don’t see a clear answer. I realize you are arguing that is is positive AND negative, but I just hope the grader does not think you are dodging the question. The grading rubric says an essay that “responds to the task only in a minimal way or the answer is tangential” would only get a band 4 in TA. Maybe it would be fine, but I think it is safer on this type of question to pick one side or the other, and if you choose to give some examples concerning the other side, to show why that argument is weak or not applicable.
Hi Luschen, if I accept the positives but make it clear that the negatives outweigh the positives, will my essay’s format is effective for this type of prompt ? Please let me know if I’m still dodging the question. Thanks a lot !
It has remained a subject of constant debate whether the unprecedented proliferation of advertising induces positive or negative impacts on society. Although there are some benefits of this trend, I would argue that there are far more drawbacks. Discussed below are several reasons supporting my perspective.
The reasons why people consider advertising prevalence to be beneficial are manifold. Firstly, by being exposed to an ever increasing amount of advertising, individuals can be kept informed about details of newly-launched products. As a result, a wide variety of options is available to customers, contributing to the enhancement of their living standards. Another benefit of advertising lies in the fact that it provides employment opportunities for people who work as content marketers, graphic designers, and copywriters. The more commercials there are, the less serious unemployment becomes.
Despite the positives mentioned above, I firmly believe the large-scale explosion of advertising is a negative development for various reasons. Undeniably, as digital advertising becomes ubiquitous, Internet users are more likely to be overwhelmed with constant images and signs. Never before have pop-ups been so pervasive as they are nowadays, which is intrusive and irritating. Furthermore, for commercial purposes, companies and businesses may exaggerate or even distort facts related to their products, which confuses rather than helps customers. For instance, false advertising can claim that a product contains vitamin and mineral supplements when in fact it does not. Lastly, due to advertising techniques such as using celebrity endorsements, customers cannot resist the temptation of advertised products and thus make impulsive purchases.
In conclusion, while I recognise the benefits that a thriving advertising industry brings to individuals and the society as a whole, I consider this to be a negative development overall.
Yes, this is much better. You have given some possible benefits, but you have made it clear that the drawbacks are more significant. I would like to label this essay super-duper ! If you and other learners on the forum search for “super-duper”, they will find this essay along with several other ones I consider exceptional - congratulations!