Advantages and disadvantages of practising sports

Please rate my essay. Thanks in advance

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Playing sports has a great impact in our children’s life. Usually sports make us healthy. Some people think that children have to spend most of their time playing a lot of sports. Others disagree. Personally, I believe that children have to play sports not too much nor too little, as everything has its pros and cons.

To begin with, children benefit a lot by playing sports. They have a lot of fun and may learn a lot of new things, besides they will grow healthy. From my own experience, my eleven year old boy, was a little bit fat but after playing soccer he became slim and more healthy. At first he could not run too long but after soccer he was able to run for a long periods. Another example, when he attended Taekwondo classes, he learned how to be obedient to his teacher and his parents. Also, they teach him discipline and to behave in a kind way with everyone. Therefore, sports are important for all children and they benefit a lot by playing sports.

On the other hand, it is not preferable for the children to spend a lot of their time playing sports, since this may affect their ability to focus on their academic subjects in school. For instance, as I mentioned before, my boy was playing soccer and attending a Taekwondo class at the same time during school. Some days he had soccer practice and Taekwondo class on the same day, thus he had a little time to finish his homework and sometimes he had to be awake a few hours late to finish it. All of this had negative effects on him, he slept late, sometimes he woke up late, so he could not focus on his school day. In addition, he usually returned home tired and exhausted and could not concentrate well on his assignment or projects. As a result, he got bad grades. Later on, I just signed him up only in one sport . As you can see, playing more than one sport at the same time is not good especially during the school year.

All in all, children like to play sports. It will keep them mentally and physically healthy and active. But too much sports will make them tired and exhausted. Therefore, parents should help their children to control their time between playing sport and studying.

TOEFL listening lectures: What aspect of USA Today does the professor mainly discuss?

Hi Caroline, another great essay. Your writing sounds very natural and conversational, though it would be nice to see a broader vocabulary. You have the right format for this essay style, but based on this prompt, you don’t really need to put which side you support in the thesis, since the prompt does not ask you that. Be advised though, that almost every prompt for this essay type asks “discuss the advantages and disadvantages and say which you prefer”. In this case you would need to add one more body paragraph to give your specific opinion and support. You still have a few minor errors here and there, but fewer than in your previous essay. Overall, I would rate this one a 4.5 out of 5.

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