A TOEFL Independent Writing Requesting Feedback

English as a Second Language English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life?

In my family my husband usually watches action movies and science fiction. My 8-year-old son’s favorite movie is comedies. I prefer real life films since I do want to learn something new or get inspired from the heroins or heroes’s life stories. Even so, to be fair, I disagree with the statement that it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life, mainly based on the reasons as follows.

First, any movies are worthy of watching as long as the audience believes they can get what they want. Some people watch movies for sheer fun and entertainment, to release pressure from their work or study. They feel relaxed and energetic afterwards. Their feelings and choices should be respected. For example, my husband is a computer engineer and works intensively, constantly concentrating on a project for quite a few hours. So watching an action movie seems to be a most relaxing moment after work. Another example is my 8-year-old son. He loves comedies, such as Mr. Bean. I know he will not learn anything from it but I can hear him giggling very loudly every time he watches that guy. Looking at how much they enjoy themselves, it is hard for me to agree that it is not worth watching movies that can’t teach them something about real life.

Second, do the movies that are not teaching us immediately about real life truly not deserve to watch ? Of course not. As we have known, science fiction is fictional science-based depictions of phenomena, tending to demonstrate something probably that will rarely happen in the future, but they do motivate people to rethink about our surroundings and arouse young people’s interests in real science. For instance, my brother started to fall in love with science when he watched the movie “The Empire Strikes the Earth” at his 12 years old, afterwards, he put his whole heart into studying science until he become a scientist. Therefore it is also worth to watch the movies that do not seem to teach us about real life.

Last, people who support the statement might well view that watching horror films is kind of wasting time since they are most unlikely to teach us anything. Rather, according to the Journal of Phycology, watching scary movies may help people with anxiety feel comfortable and calm. That’s because the dopamine release related to the brain response causes an increased sense of well-being when they watch scary movies. Additionally, some people may find that after watching a horror movie, it is not as scary to ask their boss for a raise, prepare to give a public speech, or take the TOEFL exam, and so on. So it is unwise to judge whether a movie is worthy of watching or not, only based on if we can learn anything about real life.

In sum up, I believe that any movies deserve to be watched as long as the audience think they are enjoyable.

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I think you will have no trouble scoring high marks on the TOEFL.

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Hello Torsten, thank you for your response. I do spend plenty of time practicing my writing since I know I will write enormously at a graduate school in the future. However, I am still far away to have a command of English. So my question is what I need to do to think like a native speaker or think in English. To be specific, I still make strange sentences in some cases. Sometimes it becomes a significant interference to my goal of speaking English fluently. Thank you!

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Maybe you can pick up some ideas from the following thread.

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It seems that I have overpassed the process of “translating”. It did happen to me long before, though. My problem is that I think in English but think differently in English from a native speaker, maybe. I am uncertain how to say it. Sorry for that.

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There are a couple of things. First, it’s probably useful for you to really determine what exactly you want to achieve and why. I mean, if you want to know how a native speaker thinks all you need to do is read what native speakers write and listen to what they say. Also, is your goal to think like a native speaker? If so, who do you have in mind particularly. Do you want to think exactly like Donald Trump or like Jeff Bezos or do you want to think like a combination of the two? Or maybe it’s better if you continue thinking like and for yourself?

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Hello Torsten,

Thinking like a native speaker does not necessarily mean thinking like a particular person, as like Donald Trump or like Jeff Bezos. Let’s nail it down on having a command of English. When I talk to English native speakers, I ask what they think about my English for feedback. The most common answer I received is that they do not have any trouble understanding what I say ( sometimes I get very generous compliments). But I know I still make minor grammatical errors while speaking and have a long way to go.

Return back to your question of “what do you exactly want to achieve?” My goal is to have a command of English. It might well be like taking me a lifelong time to achieve it, instead, it deserves.

Anyway, thank you for your reply. I think I knew what you mean.

Have a good day,
Zhuoli Zhang

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You already have an excellent command of English and what really counts is your ability to communicate. It’s always useful to keep a healthy balance between clarity and correctness as well as between fluency on the one hand and accuracy on the other. Most learners of English are used to being evaluated by the number of ‘mistakes’ or ‘errors’ they make instead of being encouraged to focus on communication. Marianna Pascal hits the nail on the head here:

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Well-said, Torsten, I will keep your suggestions in mind. Thanks.

By the way, I believe the video attached will be very helpful for non-native speakers to drill their language skills.

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