A question to muslim women. I'm talking about polygamy...

Islam gives a possibility which is unavailable to others. I’m talking about polygamy. The question is which do you prefer: to be one among several or to be the only one? Thanks.

Dear Someone,

Do you know why is it available in Islam? And within which rules a man can get married again?

Every woman wants to be the only one. It’s not easy for Muslim women to give that permission to their husbands.


I am Muslim, and Islam hasn’t made it fine for any man to marry more than once. When non - muslims hear that men can marry again, they go like Oh my God! how can any woman accept that? Well, there are certain conditions and restrictions under which a man can get married.

As you know, in Islam a man can’t have any form of physical contact including sex with a woman unless they were married. Of course, there are many reasons for that, I am not going to go there, it’s not the topic. But what if a man’s wife was sick like really sick and can’t have any form of physical relationship. Should a man go around and have an affair which is forbidden in Islam?? Or would it be better if he got married as long as he can afford the other woman and is ready to have a family with her.

Marriage in Islam isn’t all about physical relationships; it’s about being ready to establish a family. And what if a woman was barren, a guy can remarry if he wanted kids. What if a woman was making his life miserable and he needed sex, instead of fooling around with someone else, he gets married.

And most impotantly, a guy can’t remarry unless he made sure that he was ready to be fair and just in dealing with all his wives. Not all Muslim men marry more than once, some can’t afford getting married; some are happy with their wives.

One more thing, why is sex outside marriage forbidden?? Let’s say that a woman had a relationship with a man one day and another the next day and she gets pregnant? who would be the father? You can’t believe what she says, she may not even know. Of course, not all woman are like that, but some are. Some remain dedicated to one man, but come on, hasn’t it always happened that a guy finds out years later that he has an illegitimate son? What if that son gets married to the guy’s daughter i.e. his half- sister? Well, forget about marriage what if he had a one- night stand with his half- sister?

Basmamostafa, are you a woman?

Yes, I am. And trust me I wouldn’t be very happy if I get married and find out that my husband wants another woman. But under the conditions I mentioned in the last post, it would be fine.

Basmamostafa, thanks for your reply.

I am a Muslim and I will say :slight_smile:

1- It may be necessary in some cases, such as: the wife to be elderly, sick or if it was not only for him to person remain chaste, and with children it is held too afraid to leave the marriage the same hardship, or perhaps fear of adultery, but he divorced her teams between them and their children, not only eliminated the problem to solving multi.

2 - The reason for the marriage of the link and the link between people, may God make it Ksima in terms of meaning, he said (which is created from water and human beings Fjolh proportions Sra) [Holy Qur’an / 54], Polygamy link between the families of many, and some of them up, and this is one of the reasons called God’s blessings and peace be upon him that the number of married women.

3 - resulting in the maintenance of a large number of women, and Bhajthn and maintenance of housing and the large number of children, birth control, and this is required for the street.

4 - men who will be sharp enough not one of desire, which is evaluated fairly, and the fear of adultery, but wanted to spend was in the enjoyment of halal, it was the mercy of Almighty God that gave them moral character diversity in sound. A. E. Of his book, “Marriage”

5 - has shown the futility of women after marriage, and divorce is the solution, if it had the capacity to marry the other person is not to say that the divorce the better.

6 - It may be a spouse or a stranger, many of travel, requires the same loneliness in his Ihassan.

7 - many wars, and the legitimacy of jihad in the way of God in the cause of the lack of the large number of men and women, and this is a need for women to Leicester from them, and only way to marriage.

8 - The men admire a woman or vice versa because of religion or manners, to be a legitimate marriage is the way to meet each other.

9 - may be disagreement between the spouses, Itafrqan divorce, then marry the man, and wish to return to his wife first, then the multiplicity of legislation, such as a definitive solution to this situation.

10 - and the Islamic nation in desperate need of the large number of birth control to strengthen its ranks and prepare for Jihad, infidels, is not only a lot more than marriage and childbearing and the large one (1).

11 - It is the rule of complete diversity of women in non-shift to the request of the flag and reading the Quran, and cleaning her house, and this is not possible - often - for women with non-spouse Almadd.

12 - It is the rule of increasing the diversity of familiarity and love between husband and women, as it is not one of them is a heart, but is yearning for his wife, as well as the yearning to him.

Honey2, Muslim women are really verbose :-). And finally I didn’t get an answer to my question at all :smiley:

Dear Someone,

Everybody wants to be only one. It’s an answer.

But there are cases when women give permission to their husbands to marry again. And please note that men should be materially satisfied to have another wife. Even in Azerbaijan, which is not Islamic republic and polygomy is prohibited by law, it’s very expensive to marry even for the first time :).


Kiprida, it’s fair for men - to have more than one wife. But what about women? Maybe they want to have several husbands too? :wink: Well, not all of them but some surely want. Why not give them this possibility what do you think?

Dear Someone,

I don’t think it’s fair for men to have several wives; it’s very difficult I think :slight_smile: Can you imagine 2 women living in the same house? That will result in third world war :slight_smile:

I think it’s better if woman knows only one man in her life. Polygene is not available in Islam. If it’s not available, it means need of women is not as high as of opposite sex. If woman is not satisfied in marriage, she can divorce and marry another man.

In Azerbaijan, men marry again when they don’t have children from first marriage. And here in Baku, women want to be the only one, and in 99.99% they divorce. I can’t explain how real Muslim women feel about this. In my county every family has 2, maximum 3 children in general. That is why number of males and females are equal. But if our people lived in Islamic manners and abortion was prohibited, then number of females would be much higher. And in this case for females being a second or third wife would become normal. And suppose a daughter of the woman who was second wife. For her this family manner seems to be normal.

I believe in justice of God. He knows what we don’t know. Have you heard the famous quotation by Albert Einstein? “The God doesn’t play dice”.


Oh, Kiprida. It might happen that justice for god is something opposite to what you think it is :wink:

Who gives any human the power to speak on behalf of god? Even if he is Einstein. Please let Jupiter do his deeds and let the bull do his own.

Yes, of course, it might happen. But thinking logically you can find answers , and indeed be sure that you were wrong.

Einstein is one of the greatest scientists of the World. And he accepts that , there is not notion of ‘probability’ for God, and only God knows what will happen before.

I know, it’s hard to understand all of this staff, but trust me, no one loves his/her religion as Muslims did. I’m not telling you this as a person who is born in Islamic republic, and all of these are life manner for her. I’m telling you all of these as a person was born in Atheistic USSR, whose family had no idea what Islam is.

It woud be better to buy and read Quran ad try to find mistakes :wink:



To Phoebe,

A man can have up to four wives at a time; which I honestly haven’t witnessed. A man with two wives is tough enough, let alone four. And honestly, in Egypt when a man gets married, his wife usually asks for divorce.

Men always use the excuse that his wife no longer takes care of the way she looks; she is busy with her children and so on…

And in Islam, abortion is forbidden, because it’s considered killing a living soul. And the number of children is usually determined according to people’s education.

I have only one sister. As to Islam, if someone wants to have many children provided that he could afford their needs, take care of them, raise them well and educate them, then why not??

OF course there are people that have like eight kids and stuff like that, but they do that out of ignorance not out of following the rules of Islam, because they are usually so poor and illiterate. It usually happens more in the country where education is limited.

If I wer single today, I wish I could be one among many. but i want to be one in one, I mean, a woman should drive a man crazy so does he to her. if sexual life is kind of going down, all marriage is in hot water.

Still you believe into the power of logic. Beyound any doubt it might be very powerful instrument but not always.

Besides every human is limited within its own boundaries. Don’t dismiss this fact.


Thank you for information provided. I know, I was asking Someone if he knows the rules or not. I’m a Muslim Elhemdurillah!!


I don’t care a bit about the rules. And I was right in my guess that women everywhere want to be the only one. It’s human nature whatever.

It’s for sure!!!
Every woman wants to be the only one, but fate takes no bribes, and sometimes women face problems when they have to leave the home or to stay and share it with someone else. (Not with Someone :slight_smile: )

Yes we, all human beings are limited, but not the God, not the God! That is why we live obeying his rules…