You have received a gift of money. The money is enough to buy either a piece of jewelry you like or tickets of a concert you want to attend. Which would you buy? Use specific details and reasons to support your answer.
Some people prefer to save their money. Some of them put their money in their saving accounts and some others buy pieces of some juwelleries like golden bracelets, earings, rings or shackles. Sometimes it is said that we have to save our money because we will need them in the future. Although this observation might hold some truth, it ignores the fact that one can not always enjoy his money. we may would not have enough time in the future to go to the concerts or theaters.
To begin with, I feel that I will not have enough time to go to the concerts and theaters in the future. My wife and I do not have any offspring yet. We may give birth to a baby in the future. We should care about them all the time and after they will start to go to the school, they will study all the time and we can not leave them alone going to concert halls. Therefore, I feel that we should enjoy our money now.
Apart from the reason that I mentioned above, I am a man and in our country’s culture men do not wear golden jewelleries. My wife is also is of the opinion that we should expense our money to take vacations and trips and going concerts and plays. In our city there are big concert halls and theaters. Lots of plays come to theaters and famous musicians come to concert halls every month. So we think that we should not miss them.
Finally, people buy jwelleries to pretend that they are well-to-do. Some of them think that they save their money , buying jwelleries due to the fact that they may have lots of expenses in the future. I think that we can spend a little money for buying insurances such as health insurance, life insurance and vehicle insurance. we can also buy a fire insurance for our home. It is not so expensive and we can spent a big fraction of our money to our amusments and have a memorable recreational times.
To sum up, I think that all people will have some expenses in the future.To that end, we can find some solutions to them such as buying different insurances which are not so expensive. Future will take place in the future and our concerns cannot solve our furture’s problems. We may do not have enough time to enjoy our lives or may sustain serious illnesses in the future, therefore we should enjoy our money now.
Hi Mahdi, I don’t feel like you quite captured the spirit of this prompt. To me this seems like a very personal question, would you rather have a piece of jewelry or go to a concert?
But you have sort of applied it to everyone in general and made it less personal.
The prompt is not asking what is best for everybody or for society, just what is best for you. This problem is mainly in your introduction, but it continues somewhat in your body paragraphs. Plus you sort of equate buying jewelry with saving for the future,
which I don’t know is that accurate, or at least you have not convinced me that they are equivalent. Your first body paragraph is probably the best, but you run into trouble with your tenses and sentence structure when you talk about future events.
In your next two body paragraphs, your topic sentences don’t really match the rest of the paragraph at all. Remember, your first sentence should give a reason supporting your thesis and the rest of the paragraph explains that reason. To me, a big reason supporting your thesis would be that experiences are more important than possessions, but you did not really mention anything like that at all, which seems surprising to me. One big point is that “jewelry” is uncountable singular, so that made a lot of your sentences sound pretty unnatural. Here are some other specific suggestions.
Well, it sounds rather intriguing... Honestly, I don't know what I would choose. Of course, jewelry is a lovely present, especially an exquisite one. It will serve for many years. But the emotions that you might have received at the concert, can give you unforgettable memories the jewelry is not able to bring. So, it depends on the tastes of your partner. As for now, I don't have such a dilemma. I am thinking about what mens rings to choose from all these outstanding proposals. Yes, I want to give myself a lovely gift, is it bad?
