[1-idea paragraph] [IELTS writing task 2]

[Tra_Thuu]

Hello everybody! I am preparing for my up-coming IELTS exam in March this year. Usually, people have a tendency to write a body paragraph with 2 ideas, however, I really want to know how to write a paragraph with only 1 idea. Because sometimes it is quite hard for me to come up with 2 relevant ideas and I think that spending 1 paragraph for 1 idea would help me to analyse the idea deeply. Please give me some recommendation about writing a paragraph with only 1 idea and how to analyse the idea fully (I mean in which aspects that I should analyse about the idea,…).
Thank you so so much <3

Topic: Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

That whether public parks should be utilized for other purposes or not is a controversial topic of today’s world. While many people believe that these places should be reconstructed to sever the purposes of settling down or running businesses, I am of the opinion that people should maintain public parks because of its potential benefits.

It is true that a part of the society agrees to replace public parks with constructions which could be used for other activities. To be more specific, the deconstruction of public parks could address the problem of housing shortage in many metropolises. In Hanoi, for example, authorities replaced five parks in order to build some novel apartments for fifteen thousand immigrants who are on the verge of becoming homeless. From the perspective of resettled people, replacing these public areas with apartments could help them make a fresh start without worrying about housing. From the perspective of the government, ruling parties could save a huge amount of money which used to be paid for the subsidy for homeless people.

However, I am convinced that public parks should be maintained because of its significant advantages. First, these places could help people to improve their health. As parks have lots of paths and are usually quiet, people could do some exercises such as running, biking in there. Second, parks are a factor that could help people fight climate change. Because maintaining public parks is an effective measure to preserve a number of trees planted there, and these plants would be able to reduce the amount trapping gases which are discharged from vehicles or factories. As a result, the problem of global warming would be alleviated.

To conclude, it is true that public parks are believed to be replaced with many constructions to serve other purposes such as residing or developing businesses. However, I am contented that these public places should be maintained because of its benefits included improving people’s health and helping people to fight climate change.

[Luschen]

@Tra_Thuu

Hello everybody! I am preparing for my up-coming IELTS exam in March this year. Usually, people have a tendency to write a body paragraph with 2 ideas, however, I really want to know how to write a paragraph with only 1 idea. Because sometimes it is quite hard for me to come up with 2 relevant ideas and I think that spending 1 paragraph for 1 idea would help me to analyse the idea deeply. Please give me some recommendation about writing a paragraph with only 1 idea and how to analyse the idea fully (I mean in which aspects that I should analyse about the idea,…).
Thank you so so much <3

Hi Tra Thuu, actually, good essay body paragraphs all should have one idea. This idea should be clearly stated in the topic sentence, the first sentence of the paragraph. Of course, this one idea could have several parts or several reasons of support. For IELTS essays, the number of reasons per paragraph depends on the type of prompt. If you have a “discuss both sides and give your opinion” prompt, you should have three body paragraphs:

1. main idea: this is the support for side A
2. main idea: this is the support for side B
3. main idea: this is why I support side B
   For this type of prompt, each of these paragraphs will have to have at least two reasons each.

On the other hand, if you have a “to what extent to you agree or disagree with this” style prompt, then you could have these three body paragraphs:

1. main idea: I strongly support side A because of reason 1
2. main idea: I strongly support side A because of reason 2
3. main idea : I strongly support side A because of reason 3
   so here you would just develop one reason per paragraph.

An alternative to the “to what extent to you agree or disagree with this” style prompt is having these two body paragraphs:

1. main idea: I strongly disagree with side B because of these reasons
2. main idea: I strongly agree with side B because of these reasons
   so here, you would include at least two reasons per paragraph.

To me, the structure you have used in your essay is not really appropriate for this type of prompt. For some reason, students tend to give the benefits of both sides of the argument. This is appropriate for the “discuss both sides and give your opinion”, but for this type of prompt it is better to pick one side or the other, have a strong opinion and focus entirely on your side. This will ensure that you “present a clear position throughout the response”, which is key to getting a good Task Achievement score.

I think what you are asking is how to write an essay with a structure where there is one reason per paragraph. First, it has to be the correct type of prompt, the “to what extent do you agree” type. Then your first sentence of your body paragraph will introduce the reason. Your second sentence will further explain or develop the reason. The next several sentences will give one or more specific examples illustrating the reason. And then a final sentence can connect the examples back to the reason. For instance, you could have written an essay with three body paragraphs, each giving a reason of support for your side:

Intro
Body paragraph 1 - parks are essential for health
Body paragraph 2 - parks help the environment
Body paragraph 3 - parks provide places to socialize
Conclusion

You might be able to get by with only two body paragraphs and two reasons, but it is better if you can come up with three reasons if you use this type of structure.

Following my guidelines above, body paragraph 1 might be:

To begin, a significant advantage of maintaining public parks is that they help people improve their health. Parks have lots of paths and are usually quiet, allowing people to take part in exercises such as running or biking. In addition, parks often feature athletic facilities like basketball courts or football fields, allowing citizens to maintain their physical fitness by participating in organized sporting events and leagues. A study by the University of Tokyo found that cities with a higher proportion of green spaces had significantly more healthy populaces, an outcome directly related to the health benefits of an extensive park system. Destroying these vital areas in order to build yet another high rise apartment building would therefore adversely affect the physical well-being of city dwellers and must be avoided by protecting these indispensable parks.

[Luschen]

Hi Tra Thuu, please see my other post about how this might not be the most effective format to answer this type of prompt. You do have some good reasons, but much of your writing sounds very awkward with some incorrect vocabulary choices. Here are some specific suggestions:

@Tra_Thuu

[Whether ]public parks should be utilized for other purposes or not is a controversial topic [in] today’s world. While many people believe that these places should be reconstructed {“reconstructed” sounds odd here - you really mean replaced or removed} to [serve] the purposes of settling down {“settling down” sounds unnecessarily vague here} or running businesses, I am of the opinion that people should maintain public parks because of [their] potential benefits.

It is true that a part of the society agrees [with replacing] public parks with constructions {“constructions” sounds odd here} which could be used for other activities. To be more specific, the deconstruction {“deconstruction” has a very specific meaning: “a method of critical analysis of philosophical and literary language which emphasizes the internal workings of language and conceptual systems, the relational quality of meaning, and the assumptions implicit in forms of expression.” - don’t worry, I don’t really understand it either! } of public parks could address the problem of housing [shortages] in many metropolises. In Hanoi, for example, authorities replaced five parks in order to build some novel {“novel” here would mean unusual, like round apartments or something like that} apartments for fifteen thousand immigrants who [were] on the verge of becoming homeless. From the perspective of resettled people, replacing these public areas with apartments could help [new residents] make a fresh start without worrying about housing. From the perspective of the government, ruling parties could save [the] huge amount of money which used to be paid [to subsidize] homeless people.

However, I am convinced that public parks should be maintained because of [their] significant advantages. First, these places could help people to improve their health. As parks have lots of paths and are usually quiet, people could do some exercises such as running [or] biking in there. Second, parks are a factor that could help people fight climate change. [This is] {without this addition, this whole sentence is a dependent clause and therefore a sentence fragment} Because maintaining public parks is an effective measure to preserve [the large] number of trees planted there, and these plants would be able to reduce the amount [of heat-]trapping gases which are discharged from vehicles or factories. As a result, the problem of global warming would be alleviated.

To conclude, it is true that public parks are believed to {this sounds very odd} be replaced with many constructions [facilities] to serve other purposes such as [apartments] residing or [locations for] developing businesses. However, I am [convinced] that these public places should be maintained because of [their] benefits [including] improving people’s health and helping people to fight climate change.

[Tra_Thuu]

Thank you so so much, Luschen <3