TOEFL writing practice- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn

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And here’s the link to the integrated essay:

My third post: TOEFL integrated essay

Hi, I would be grateful if someone could rate my integrated essay. Here’s the reading passage: Communal online encyclopedias represent one of the latest resources to be found on the Internet. They are in many respects like traditional printed encyclopedias: collection of articles on various subjects. What is specific to these online encyclopedias, however, is that any Internet user can contribute a new article or make an editorial change in an existing one. As a result, the encyclopedia is aut…