Toefl study group

[Luschen]

@Thien Vo

Thank you , Luschen , for your answer . Sorry but I still got confuse !?!?

There is a lot of reasons .
There are lots of reasons .

Why the first sentence use “is” and the second uses “are” meanwhile both sentences are use reasons ( is a plural right!) ?

The reason is that “lot” is singular, while “lots” is plural. The prepositional phrase “of reasons” does not really affect the subject, which is either lot or lots.

[Luschen]

Hi, I found this on another IELTS website and thought it was a very useful exercise.

Here’s the test. Read this essay. It’s pretty good, but every sentence contains one mistake. That means it’s not good enough to get a band 8. Your job is to find the mistakes.

[i] In today’s material world, we are inundated with variety forms of advertising. In my view, this can be dangerous as it encourages us spend without thinking and young people, in particular, need some protection from it.

The first point to make is that advertising does make us to spend money we do not need to. There are nowadays many diferent ways companies promote their products and services, ranging from television commercials to simple flyers. If, for example, you were watching a football match on television, you will see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you watch the latest blockbuster movie, very probably you will see a product placed in the film by advertising agency. The  volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influence by it and buy without thinking.

It is not easy to decide how regulating advertising. Clearly, governments ought to restrict advertisements for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco. They do not have the power, however, to control other forms of the advertising. This means we need to use our commonsense when we go to the shops, and ask us whether we really need to make that purchase. Parents should, however, ensure that young people are protected about too much exposure to advertising. this can mean explaining that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox.

My conclusion is that while we cannot escape advertising or its effects in the modern world, children should be being encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.[/i]

Can anyone find all the errors? I will post them in a few days.

[Thien_Vo]

I have found two mistake so far :
_If, for example, you were watching a football match on television, you [will] {“would” is better choice} see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you watch the latest blockbuster movie, very probably you will see a product placed in the film by advertising agency

_My conclusion is that while we cannot escape advertising or its effects in the modern world, children should be {“being” should be omitted} encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.

If capital mistakes is also be counted, so I have another one.
_Parents should, however, ensure that young people are protected about too much exposure to advertising. this{This} can mean explaining that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox.

This is a good excerise, Luschen, hopefully you post more tips. Can not wait to see them!!!

[Our_Tort_System]

I think I can find a few mistakes:

@Luschen

[i] In today’s material world, we are inundated with various forms of advertising. In my view, this can be dangerous as it encourages us to spend without thinking and young people, in particular, need some protection from it.

The first point to make is that advertising does make us [b]___[/b]spend money we do not need to. [b]Nowadays[/b] there are many diferent ways companies promote their products and services, ranging from television commercials to simple flyers.

It kind of puts us in your shoes. Hehe.

[ACHCa]

@Luschen

[i] In today’s material world, we are inundated with variety [various] forms of advertising. In my view, this can be dangerous as it encourages us [to] spend without thinking and young people, in particular, need some protection from it.

The first point to make is that advertising does make us [s]to[/s] spend[-ing] money [on things] we do not need [s]to[/s]. [s]There are[/s] [s]n[/s][N]owadays [there are] many diferent ways companies promot[s]e[/s][-ing] their products and services, ranging from television commercials to simple flyers. [s]If, for example,[/s] [For example, if] you [s]were[/s][are] watching a football match on television, you will see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you [are] watch[-ing] the latest blockbuster movie, [s]very probably[/s] you will [probably] see a product placed in the film by advertising agency. The volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influence[-d] by it and buy without thinking.

It is not easy to decide how regulating advertising. Clearly, governments ought to restrict advertisements for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco. They do not have the power, however, to control other forms of the advertising. This means we need to use our [s]commonsense[/s] [common sense] when we go to the shops, and ask [s]us[/s][ourselves] whether we really need to make that purchase. Parents should, however, ensure that young people are protected about too much exposure to advertising. [s]t[/s][T]his [s]can[/s] mean[-s] [s]explaining[/s] that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox.

My conclusion is that while we [s]cannot[/s] [are not able to] escape advertising or its effects in the modern world, children should be being encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.[/i]

[Luschen]

Wow, excellent job - you are hired! You did miss one and made a few corrections which were unnecessary. There is that one sentence where I can’t see any errors - I may have to go back to my source and look at the answer key.

@ACHCa

@Luschen

[i] In today’s material world, we are inundated with variety [various] forms of advertising. In my view, this can be dangerous as it encourages us [to] spend without thinking and young people, in particular, need some protection from it.

The first point to make is that advertising does make us [s]to[/s] spend[-ing] money [on things] [color=red]{"does make us spend money we do not need to" - your on things addition is fine also and is probably an improvement since it avoids ending a sentence with a preposition} we do not need [s]to[/s]. [s]There are[/s] [s]n[/s][N]owadays [there are] many diferent ways companies promot[s]e[/s][s][-ing][/s] [color=red]{"promote" was correct} their products and services, ranging from television commercials to simple flyers. [s]If, for example,[/s] [For example, if] you [s]were[/s][are] watching a football match on television, you will see the logos of the tournament sponsors. Likewise, if you [are] watch[-ing] the latest blockbuster movie, [s]very probably[/s] you will [probably] see a product placed in the film by advertising agency. The volume of this advertising means that we, as consumers, tend to be profoundly influence[-d] by it and buy without thinking.

It is not easy to decide how [color=red][to] regulat[e] advertising. Clearly, governments ought to restrict advertisements for harmful products such as alcohol and tobacco. They do not have the power, however, to control other forms of [color=red][s]the[/s] advertising. This means we need to use our [s]commonsense[/s] [common sense] when we go to the shops, and ask [s]us[/s][ourselves] whether we really need to make that purchase. Parents should, however, ensure that young people are protected[color=red][s] about[/s][from] too much exposure to advertising. [s]t[/s][T]his [s]can[/s] mean[-s] [s]explaining[/s] that it is not in fact necessary to buy the newest Xbox. [color=red]{this sentence was fine, just forgot to capitalize This}

My conclusion is that while we [s]cannot[/s] [are not able to] escape advertising or its effects in the modern world, children should be being encouraged not to pay too much attention to it.  [color=red]{your changes are fine, but I think the sentence was ok before, except "My conclusion is that while" should be "In conclusion, while"} [/i]

[ACHCa]

Ooooo, I understand it now! Thanks Luschen.

[Lemin1991]

Can anyone explain me the difference between these two words: shortcoming and blemish?

[Beeesneees]

oald8.oxfordlearnersdictionaries … hortcoming
oald8.oxfordlearnersdictionaries … ry/blemish

Occasionally, you may see ‘blemish’ used figuratively to mean ‘a fault in a person’s character’, as, for example, the sentence in the dictionary: ‘His reputation is without blemish’, but this is not the standard usage. Usually it related to a physical imperfection.

[Lemin1991]

edition.cnn.com/2012/05/31/opini … index.html

In this article, there is a sentence: “Third, to the Chinese people, American universities, for all their shortcomings and blemishes, are still beacons of freedom, individualism and self-improvement”.

I think both words “shortcomings and blemishes” represented " a fault of the American educational system", right?
So, where is the physical imperfection as you’ve mentioned above?

[Beeesneees]

I also mentioned above that occasionally you may see ‘blemish’ used figuratively. That is the case here.

[Lemin1991]

Thank you, Beeesneees

[Luschen]

Hi, I posted this in another topic and thought it might be useful here:

A body paragraph outline could be:

1. topic sentence stating reason that supports your thesis
2. explain your reason more fully
3. example 1
4. example 2
5. tie examples back to thesis/prompt

Here is a quick example:

First of all, a high salary is an important factor when considering job satisfaction. In fact, many job applicants specifically search for job openings that offer high monetary compensation. For instance, my uncle works as a plumber, which can be a very dirty job. Still, he makes a lot of money, plus overtime, so he doesn’t mind getting a bit grimy. Similarly, doctors have to go to school for years and years and endure a rigorous on-the-job training program as residents, but in the end they are rewarded with large salaries. Therefore, the fact that workers will endure tough working conditions for high wages shows that monetary rewards make up a big part of one’s job enjoyment.

Does that make sense? Do you see the structure? Notice the transition words. {By the way, I don’t actually have an uncle who is a plumber. It is sometimes easier just to make up examples - the graders will not know or care. }

[Luschen]

Hi, I am posting this message for two reasons:

First, to bring this thread back from the dead. I think it has a wealth of valuable tips that can improve your TOEFL writing. I would especially review the lists of transitions, as using the correct transitions can work wonders on your essay development and fluidity.

Second, I have an additional tip to add. I usually write these 10 times a day, so I will summarize them here in an effort to spread the word:

Five Common Mistakes (that are very easy to fix) To Avoid In Your TOEFL Essays

1. Don’t use contractions! Let me rephrase that: Do not use contractions!

2. Do not use abbreviations. I have read the graders do not like to see etc. or e.g. I have found that usually etc. can be replaced by a more descriptive phrase, or at the least with “and so on”.

3. Do not end a sentence with a preposition. Personally, I have no problem with ending a sentence with a preposition, but you are here to please the graders, not me. Do not give them any excuse to mark you down.

4. Do not begin a sentence with “and” or “but”. Once again, I have no problem with this, but many English teachers feel that since “but” and “and” are conjunctions, they must be used to connect two phrases or clauses, a role it cannot fulfill when used to begin a sentence. In other words, just don’t do it!

5. Avoid using the words “things” and “stuff”. I have yet to read an essay where “things” could not be replaced by a more descriptive word. When the grader sees “things”, she knows that you were unable to think of the suitable word.

I think all of these errors are very easy to find as you do a final scan of your essay and should not be too difficult to correct.

[Our_Tort_System]

@Luschen

5. Avoid using the words “things” and “stuff”. I have yet to read an essay where “things” could not be replaced by a more descriptive word. When the grader sees “things”, she knows that you were unable to think of the suitable word.

What if I use words like thingimyjig, thingimybob, dingus, doohickey, doodad, whatchamacalit?
Those are not very descriptive (for example, I might use “whatsit” in reference to a coter pin), but they show that I know lots of informal words. Will the grader mark me down for that?

[Luschen]

I am not sure. My feeling is that these terms are generally too informal for this type of essay, but I am sure there might be some kind of subject where they might be useful. I think it is usually better to be safe than sorry - these tests can be important so it’s not the best time to experiment or takes risks. On the other hand, one can always retake the test, so don’t get too stressed. By the way, have you taken any standardized English tests? What was your experience?

[Ash2chk89]

Hi Sarah,

I am also interested in joining this group. I am appearing for TOEFL on 23rd September.
I have given exam once but i want more than 100.

[Our_Tort_System]

@Luschen

By the way, have you taken any standardized English tests? What was your experience?

No, I’ve never taken any such tests.
But I may have to take a test (for work) in the future, so I’m trying to stay in the loop so to speak :)).

[Todat]

Wow, this topic is a really great idea. We should keep it alive, so we can post some minor confusions about writing skill here.
I think it is even greater if Luschen could regulary or weekly post his tips or experiences of writing here to more quicky spread his words.
By the way, could I say this : “Television can provide us with a bottomless source of information”

[Luschen]

“Television can provide us with a bottomless source of information”

This is not quite right because television does not really provide us with a source, it is the source.

So maybe “Television can provide us with unlimited information.” or “Television can serve as a bottomless source of information.” or even “Owning a television can provide us with a bottomless source of information.”