TOEFL Independent essay

TOPIC:

It is better to have broad knowledge of many academic subjects to specialize in one specific subject.

My Essay:
In today’s fast paced and dynamically changing world, the requirements and demand change so rapidly that some concepts , roles, jobs, etc are present now become obsolete. That is why I completely agree with the statement that, one should have broad knowledge of academic subjects rather than specilaize in one specific subject area for a few reasons.

First, in today’s rapidly changing markets it has now become a need to understand wide range of subject areas and not only specific areas. If a person have knowledge of broad subject areas then it produces better outcomes and results. For example, consider a software developer wants to create a software for a financial firm. Hence, in this case the person developing the software must grab and understand all the requirements which are necessary to develop the software. If the person who is going to develop software has some knowledge or understanding of finance and terms related to it then it becomes easy to catch the requirements and can give flawless outputs as per the expectations.

Second, nowadays many students aren’t sure in which field they want to build their career. If students are exposed to a wide area of subjects then students can understand what their liking is and accordingly build their career. For example, when students enter university from High Schools many students are unsure of their likings but if they are given knowledge of different subjects the student will know his/her liking and can pursue that in the future. For example, many of my friends switched from Engineering background to management background as they weren’t interested in engineering developing but loved managing the things. This was possible because our course structure was such that it included subjects in various domains.

However, this does not mean that everyone should have broad knowledge of many subjects. People having knowledge in a specific area are also very successful as they have complete understanding and command over the things they are doing.

To sum up, I feel that having broad knowledge is necessary skill in today’s market. One should have knowledge of many subject areas and it would be beneficial to an individual. But if one is passionate or have decided to pursue a specific area then has in depth understanding of the subject.

2 Likes

I’d like to be straight forward. Would you like me to give you every mistake you’ve made (not saying there is a significant amount) or would like me to give you just a few and see if you can challenge yourself. I’d also like @Torsten’s opinion.

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Well, I pretty much expressed my opinion on this here: Is writing becoming obsolete? The Effect of AI on Writing and Standardized Testing

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I just want to know about some of my common mistakes and expected score which I could get. Just thats it. Thanks

I dont understand why angry reaction to this essay. We are all here to learn.

I guess you are not going to reply to this essay. Anyways thanks for the help you have provided. @RyanBell @Torsten

2 Likes

The problem with this type of essay is that it sounds rather contrived and therefore it’s not interesting for people to read. If you engage in lively discussions and express your thoughts in a more natural way you will attract more responses. Also, it’s good practice to join a community by first reading through some of the posts and contribute to ongoing threads rather than posting essays expecting others to edit them.

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Thanks. But I had created new essays just to start off.

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