People should develop many different skills or one skill to succeed

Please someone correct and rate my essay. Thank you so much.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People who develop many different skills are more successful than those who focus on learning one skills.

Nowadays, different people can master various skills helping them to make progress in their lives. Some people are inclined toward the attitude there are more successes when focusing to learn one skill than different skills, whereas others hold exactly the opposite perspective. Personally, though, I believe that learning many distinctive skills is by far more beneficial than focus on merely one ability in that not only does it improve people’s personal lives and helps them to find a suitable career, but also it provides people the opportunity to know their interests.
The first reason that should be taken into consideration is that learning numerous skills have positive influences on people’s personal lives. In fact, it assists them to solve their difficulties they face during daily life. Take a case of a man who lives alone for instance, he knows cooking skill perfectly. As a result, he can invite his friends for lunch and make a number of delicious foods for them. Not only does he gather with their close friends and take a break from hectic life, but also he does not expend extra money to prepare the food.
Apart from the points made above, no one can overlook the fact that people can provide an appropriate profession for themselves through learning various abilities. Nowadays companies prefer to hire an employee mastering many varies abilities. When a person can handle his problems at work environment, the company can hire few employees. As a result, it expends more less expenses. Consider a company, which sells industrial tools, if its employees that work at shop know typing and accounting skills, the company won’t require to pay money for another employee as accountant or typist.
The last point deserving some words here is that individuals have the chance to recognize their favorite skills when teaching different subjects. Most of the time, people do not discover their ideal own way during their lifetime. This is because they never have experienced some skills. Imagine a woman, which is always do research work in the university, decides to learn painting and she soon is noticed that she have highly capacity in this field and spend leisure time when working with both canvas and color. Had she focused on her work, not once would she have identified her interesting to portray, she would also have lost one of her enjoyments.
To put it in a nutshell, I am of the opinion that people should learn a lot of abilities. This is because they can enhance their personal lives, acquire a proper job in future, and understand their favorite skills. It is high time to we focused on the fact that noticing people’s interests and having a suitable career is closely connected with people’s success.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the professor?

Hi Samiraslh, I thought you did a pretty good job with this essay. You have addressed the topic well and have some good arguments and good examples. It would be nice if your examples were a bit more personal, so you could add more specific details. Also, you do have a few odd or awkward sounding phrases and some grammatical mistakes here and there. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

Thanks so much for review and score my essay.