here is my essay for the toefl test. can you correct it for me.Much thanks!
Today ,younger children are under a lot of pressure ,since they have to take many classes at school. So there is a debate about whether young students should take art and music lessons in addition to some major subjects. Some people argue that school should cancel art and music classes to help students better concentrate on their major subjects. However, I really can’t consent to this opinion. To support my point of view, I have several reasons.
To start with, music and art help to feed the imagination of children. As we all know, unlike any other subjects, music and art are not limited to specific knowledge. They provide enough space for children to imagine and have their own understanding. For example, while appreciating the same piece of music, children can think differently about it and there is no specific answer. They can form various opinions about it. During this process, children’s imagination was applied. They are more likely to come up with creative ideas. So children’s spirit of innovation is high encourage. We all know how important innovation is for a person’s career.
What’s more, learning art and music allows children to expand their knowledge and broaden their view. Art and music are not just themselves. They also contain some interesting or unknown culture phenomena. And certain types of art and music ,can always represent or reflect the culture and tradition of a country. Thus , by getting the knowledge of art and music, we get to know the more knowledge that we may not be able to obtain from the textbooks , and the culture of many other places other than where we live in. For instances ,while we looking at the paintings of western style, we may get the impression that their society highlights freedom and their people are more open-minded.
Finally , learning art and music is more relaxing. These courses are much less tough than those courses such as math, language and physics. So setting art and music classes allows students to shift from those hard subjects. This can be a perfect combination of relaxation and study, which can facilitate the efficiency of learning major courses.
In nutshell , it is necessary for younger students to take art and music classes. Since those courses may encourage children to imagine , help them to be more knowledgeable ,and improve the efficiency on learning specific knowledge.
TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss World War II?
Read more often so you can write even better. 8/10