You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and person

Could you please someone rate my essay.

Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

If I have to go away from home for a year, probably I would take my laptop with me in addition to clothing and personal care. I have a notebook size “apple” laptop and little weight and size definitely will not a problem when considering the benefits that it could give if I am going away from home for some time.

Going away from my home means missing my love ones. It would be great if I could communicate with my family and friends along that period. Since I have a wireless internet connection I can communicate via internet with my family and friends. Not only I can hear them but also I can see them as I have a web camera on my laptop. This will be an advantage if I have to go abroad because taking a mobile connection or roaming facility to existing service costs more.

In addition to that, I have to maintain all my bank accounts and credit card services even though I am going on a trip. It needs very secure machine to do these transactions through internet. If I have my laptop I don’t have to worry about the security.
Of course, in some countries, it is hard to find an internet facility every where. Then it is hard get access to my e-mails. That will be great problem as I fail to keep connect with the people that who connect me via e-mails. So it is better to take my laptop with me.

Last but not least, My laptop has a huge collection of my favorites videos, audios, and family photographs. Since I am going away from my home I would feel very alone without the touch of my family. In that case, this collection would be a great help. Even though I am far away from them I can enjoy seeing their photographs and also I would not feel alone when I have a chance to see my favorite movies or hear my favorite music.

All of these reasons, I probably take my laptop with me where ever I go. It would keep me connect with my family and friends as well as outstanding community and supply a good enjoyment as well. When consider the advantages that I can have taking it with me I do not worry about its size and weight.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a physical science class

Could you please someone rate my essay.

Imagine that you are preparing for a trip. You plan to be away from your home for a year. In addition to clothing and personal care items, you can take one additional thing. What would you take and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

If I have to go away from home for a year, I would PROBABLY take my laptop with me in addition to clothing and personal care ITEMS . I have a notebook size “Apple” laptop and ITS little weight and size definitely will not BE a problem when considering the benefits that it could give if I am going TO BE away from home for some time.

Going away from my home means missing my loveD ones. It would be great if I could communicate with my family and friends WITHIN that period.
Since I have a wireless internet connection I can communicate via internet with my family and friends. Not only I can hear them but also I can see them as I have a web camera on my laptop. This will be an advantage if I have to go abroad because taking a mobile connection or roaming facility to existing service costs more.

In addition to that, I have to maintain all my bank accounts and credit card services, even though I am going on a trip. It needs A very secure machine to do these transactions through THE internet. If I have my laptop I don’t have to worry about the security.
Of course, in some countries, it is hard to find an internet facility (everywhere). Then it is hard get access to my e-mails. That will be A great problem as I WILL BE UNABLE to keep connectED with the people who CONTACT me via e-mails. So it is better to take my laptop with me.

Last but not least, My laptop has a huge collection of my favoUrite videos, audios, and family photographs. Since I am going away from my home I would feel very alone without the touch of my family. In that case, this collection would be a great help. Even though I am far away from them I can enjoy seeing their photographs and also I would not feel alone when I have a chance to see my favoUrite movies or hear my favoUrite music.

FOR all of these reasons, I WOULD probably CHOOSE TO take my laptop with me
(wherever) I go. It would keep me connectED with my family and friends, as well as THE outlying community, and supply ME WITH good ENTERTAINMENT as well.
When I consider the advantages that I can have BY taking it with me I do not worry about its size and weight.

Better Nerry. 4.5/6.00

Kitos.

Thanks a lot. You are really helpful!

Hi Nerry
I have read all of your new essays, you have improve a lot…but be careful about the limited time on the test. When are you go in for the exam?

Good let’s say morning Bill
In my opinion:
Not only can I hear them but also I can see them as I have a web camera on my laptop.
What do you reckon? Am I right?

Best of luck.

Hi Richard,

I am taking the test on this Friday. Thanks for your comments and wishes! Hmmm… I know I have to fight with time in order to score more. I’ll try my best. Thank you very much for your help correcting my essays so far! It was really helpful.

And hey! I do not know really whether my sentence pattern is write or wrong! Requirement is to include two parallel structures. Is not that so?

By the way, how is this?

I can, not only hear them but also see them as I have a web camera on my laptop.

what do you think?

I can both see and hear them on my web-cam laptop.

Kitos.

Hello Kitosdad and Nerry
Thanks Kitos. Yes, this one is quite straightforward.

Nerry ,
I ,may be mistakenly, believe your first sentence was not appropriate. You may read these pages too, If you want to know more.:
english-test.net/forum/ftopi … y_but_also
Usage of “Not only… but also…” 1
Usage of “Not only… but also…” 2
Usage of “Not only… but also…” 3
Usage of “Not only… but also…” 4
Let me know what conclusion you draw.
And I looked it up in a dictionary:
Not only can/do/will …
I will be glad If someone makes me certain.
Best of luck.

Yeah… thats simple and interesting!! Thanks Kitos!

Hi Nerry,
Oh, I wanted to delete one of my answer…but I couldn’t. I don’t know why it is sent twice.
OK, you have got (gotten) your answer.
Wish you luck.