Writing to the landlord about a problem in the kitchen(need score 8 in IELTS)

[Masmori]

Dear Mr.Bahram,

My name is Masmori and I rented one of your apartments on the Washington avenue complex number 23. in the last week.Unfortunately,last night an accident occured in the kitchen which made me to write this letter.The details are as below:
Around 2 P.M when I was asleep I heard someone knocked the door then I found he was the neighbour living just the below of my apartment.He asked me to check my kitchen since the ceiling of his kitchen was dripping water.After chekhing I found he was right becouse the mainhole on the ground of my kitchen was full of water which hasnot been drained.
Now,I don"t use the kitchen becouse I am sure a problem is present in the wasting pipes under ground.It needs your immediate attention to this problem becouse if this is proved,it will need digging the ground.I look forward to your immediate reply.(156 words)
sincerely yours
masmori

TOEFL listening lectures: Which characteristic of Ireland does the professor utilize in his lecture?

[Masmori]

Dear luschan,
would you please rate or correct the letter above.
This topic was questioned in the last exam of IELTS in my region.
Best wishes for you and your family.
masmori

[Luschen]

Hi, your letter has quite a few problems. You really need to deal with these basic issues like spaces after periods and commas and spelling errors. You also have some grammatical errors and overall, much of your style does not sound that natural. You have some work to get to a band 8 I think. I would rate this a band 5, but maybe a band 6 if you could correct some of the obvious errors.

@Masmori

Dear Mr.[space]Bahram,

My name is Masmori and I rented one of your apartments [, number 23] on[in] the Washington [A]venue complex number 23, in the last week.{space after periods}Unfortunately,last night an accident occured{spelling} in the kitchen which made me to {or “caused me to”}write this letter.The details are as below:{don’t use a colon, and I don’t think this sentence is that good anyway}
Around 2 P.M when I was asleep I heard someone knock[ing on] the door then{this transition could be better} I found he was the neighbour living just the below of my apartment.{space after periods!}He asked me to check my kitchen since the ceiling of his kitchen was dripping water.After chekhing{spelling} I found he was right becouse the mainhole {this is not an English word - maybe you mean “drain”?} on the ground[floor] of my kitchen was full of water which hasnot been [had not] drained.
Now,{space after commas!}I don"t use the kitchen[I haven’t used the kitchen since then] becouse{sp} I am sure a problem is present in the wasting{drainage" or “sewer”} pipes under ground.{“under the floor” seems more correct}It [This problem] needs your immediate attention to this problem becouse{sp} if this is proved,it will need digging the ground.{“require excavation work” is a good term here} I look forward to your immediate reply.(156 words)
[Si]ncerely [Y]ours[,]
[M]asmori

TOEFL listening lectures: Which characteristic of Ireland does the professor utilize in his lecture?