Writing Task 2 - Work

ielts

#1

Hi leaders, please hepl me check this essay. thank you in advance
An increasing number of people change their career and place of residence several times during their life time. Is this positive or negative development?

Due to the rapid change of the economy as well as the desire of raise the social status, workers, especially young people, has increasingly switched their job and place of residence at some points in their lifetime. While I accept that this trend may exert positive influences to their career prospect, I would argue that the decisions could entail more risk.

On the one hand, making a decision to alter the current job and migrate to a new place help workers not only find the job satisfaction, but also widen their knowledge in various fields. In terms of occupation, choosing career path can be an overwhelming decision for those who are lack of real world experience, and therefore undertaking various ranges of different jobs may lead them to eventually finding a career that will be more suitable for them in the long term. In perspective of place of residence, moving to a new place can provide them a great opportunity to expand their social circle and explore many new things in there. This would help them not only accumulate practical experience but also become more adaptable to distinct situations, and as a result, they can cope with unexpected circumstances in their future.

However, the development also exist several negative effects to people. It is obvious that embark on a new career path or place of living would certainly take them a great amount of time to adjust to new environment. For example, people from rural areas migrate to cities for work will have to spend their time to search accommodation and prepare for essential things for new life. In addition, having various job experience in their resume can lose the point to the eyes of recruiters, as they desire for hiring an applicant who are willing to work in their company for a long period of time. Therefore, they are more likely to be an edge of unemployment for a long time.

In conclusion, while the change of career paths and living environment bring significant benefit to workers’ career prospect, the disadvantages of this movement should be considered carefully.


#2

Hi Nancy, I think I have said before that for this type of prompt asking only for your opinion on the issue, it is best to choose one side or the other and argue for that viewpoint. Here you have argued both sides of the topic, which makes your answer to the question “is this a positive or negative development” less clear. You do state that you side with those who say this is more negative, but your essay does not really show that, as the positives you have given seem just as powerful as the negatives, if not more so.
Your writing itself is quite clear, but you have several subject/verb singular/plural mismatches. Here are some additional comments:


#3

Hi my leaders, thanks for your advice.

In this essay, can I change the content of introduction to support that this trend may have both positive and negatve effects? Because it is quite difficult for me to only stand in one side due to lack of main ideas to support, in most of essays, I tend to analysis in two point of view. This is my first essay that I wrote within 30 minutes :slight_smile:


#4

Hi Nancy, the prompt is asking whether you think this is positive or negative. I think if you don’t address this question directly, it could hurt your task achievement score. I suppose you could say “I think it is positive in some ways and negative in others” but I really think it is safer to pick one side or the other. Here is one expert’s take on this same topic:


#5

Hi my leader, please help me check this essay again.

Due to the rapid changes in the economy as well as the desire of raising their social status , workers, especially young people, have increasingly switched their jobs and places of living at some points in their lifetime. While I accept that this trend may exer t positive influences to their career prospects, I would argue that these decisions could entail more risk .

On the one hand, making a decision to alter the current job to another one and migrate to a new place several times bring immense benefits to job seekers. In fact, by changing various jobs and places of living, they can gain a great opportunity to expand their social circle and acquire different knowledge in various fields. This would help them not only accumulate practical experience but also become more adaptable to distinct situations, and as a result, they can cope with unexpected circumstances in their future.

However, the development also brings about several negative effects to people. It is obvious that embark on a new career path or place of living would certainly take them a great amount of time to adjust to new environment. For example, people from rural areas migrating to cities for work will have to spend their time to search for accommodation and prepare the essential things for new life. In addition, having various jobs experience in their resume can cause job searchers to lose points in the eyes of recruiters, as they desire to hire an applicant who is willing to work in their company for the prolonged period. Therefore, these job hoppers are more likely to be a risk of unemployment.

In conclusion, while the change of career paths and living environment bring significant benefit to workers’ career prospects, the disadvantages of this movement should be considered carefully.


#6

Hi, here are my suggestions on your edit: