Writing essay: In the lecture, the instructor made several points about team work

Hi Kitos,
Yesterday, I posted an essay and I got 7.5 for that…
Today am posting the same essay but following the complete template from one book…
Will you please evaluate my essay…

In the lecture, the instructor made several points about team work in an organisation. The professor argues that working in a team often results in failing of the project and it has many disadvantages. However, the reading contends that team work always offers several advantages. The professor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading by using a number of points that are contrary to the merits of team work.

The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is some member’s in a team got a free ride. According to the professor, recognition and credits goes to the entire team, in case of team work. Because of this, people who did not contribute their effort even a little towards the project gets the credit whereas, the dedicated guy whose effort leads to the success of the project will get nothing as a result.

The points made by the professor casts doubt on the reading because the reading suggests that group process involves bright ideas because of the combination of several skills, experiences and hard work. He considered the advantage of group as a whole and not person wise. Thus, person who worked hard and put all his effort, skills and experience is not recognised and has no opportunity to shine.

Another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is the delay of the project. The professor claims that team work requires many meetings and discussions considering how to precede, what to do and what not to do. This delays the completion of the project. This point differs from the reading in that the reading states that group process work more quickly than an individual, because of the increased number of resources. The point made by the professor casts doubt on the reading because professor suggests team work takes more time whereas; reading suggests that team work is faster.

Final point that the teacher uses to cast doubt on the reading is the person who dominates the group leads to the failure of the project. According to the professor, the influential guy controls the whole group by making them to follow his path, without considering whether it is right or wrong and also will not allow the implementation of others ideas, even when it is correct. This results in the failure of the project and finally the whole group is blamed for this and not only the influential person. However, the reading states that the decision making guy would feel better, since others are working on his idea and he would have the possibility to shine, as the result of his idea would lead to success.

This point is contradicted by professor, when he says that the influential guy will lead to the failure of the project.
In conclusion, the points made in the lecture contrast with the reading. In team work, some will take a free ride, project delay and project failure because of the influential guy. These points demonstrate that the concept from reading passage, team work offers many advantages are in doubt.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social sciences class (3)

Hi Kitos,
Yesterday, I posted an essay and I got 7.5 for that…
Today am posting the same essay but following the complete template from one book…
Will you please evaluate my essay…

In the lecture, the instructor made several points about team work in an organisation. The professor argues that working in a team often results in THE failing of the project and it has many disadvantages. However, the reading contends that team work always offers several advantages. The professor’s lecture casts doubt on the reading by using a number of points that are contrary to the merits of team work.

The first point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is THAT some member’s in a team got a free ride. According to the professor, recognition and credits goes to the entire team, in THE case of team work. Because of this, people who did not contribute ANY effort WHATSOEVER towards the project gets the credit whereas, the dedicated guy whose effortS LED to the success of the project will get nothing as a result.

The points made by the professor casts doubt on the reading because the reading suggests that group process involves bright ideas because of the combination of several skills, experiences and hard work. He considered the advantage of group as a whole and not person wise. Thus, person who worked hard and put all OF his effort, skills and experience INTO THE PROJECT is not recognised and has no opportunity to shine.

Another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is the delay of the project. The professor claims that team work requires many meetings and discussions considering how to precede, what to do and what not to do. This delays the completion of the project. This point differs from the reading in that the reading states that group process work more quickly than an individual, because of the increased number of resources. The point made by the professor casts doubt on the reading because professor suggests team work takes more time whereas; reading suggests that team work is faster.

THE final point that the teacher uses to cast doubt on the reading is the person who dominates the group leads to the failure of the project. According to the professor, the dominant guy controls the whole group by making them to follow his path, without considering whether it is right or wrong and also will not allow the implementation of others ideas, even when THEY ARE correct. This results in the failure of the project and finally the whole group is blamed for this, and not only the DOMINANT person. However, the reading states that the decision making guy would feel better, since others are working on his idea and he would have the possibility to shine, as the result of his idea leadING to success.

This point is contradicted by professor, when he says that the influential guy will lead to the failure of the project.
In conclusion, the points made in the lecture contrast with the reading. In team work, some will take a free ride, delay THE PROJECT and THE project WILL fail because of the DOMINANT guy. These points demonstrate that the concept from reading passage, THAT team work offers many advantages, IS in doubt.

Again, 7.5 seems a fair score for this work. What did you hope to achieve?[/s]

Hi Kitos,
Thanks for your response…
I got 7.5 in the first essay even though, I did not follow the correct format…
So, I was writing the same essay for the second time using the template and I thought I will get a bit more score…
Are you saying that 7.5 is a good score or for this essay only 7.5 can be given?..

I really have no idea what you will achieve on your test Priyasathiya. I simply score it as to what I feel is its worth. This isn’t to mean that you wouldn’t get a higher score in your test.

I’ve no idea of the criteria that the examiners employ, so I can’t add any more to what has already been said.

Sorry Kitos,
Am not disagreeing with your score…
You really helped me a lot…
I just want to know whether I have to correct something or I have to improve …

My dear Priyasathiya, even Nancy and Milily and many others here who regularly achieve
10/10 still have lots of room for improvement. I too accept that Alan and Mr.Micawber and Beesnees are far better tutors than I. They have taught for years and years, and yet they too would agree that even they could be better. That is how it is when you are dedicated to teaching, or learning.

The corrections/improvements are already there before you, but any of the more experienced tutors here could improve on my attempts to improve what you have written.

Yes, You are correct Kitos,
I too agree with you…
Thanks a lot for being patience with me …
You are a good, talented and kind teacher. professionally and personally…
I thank God for showing me the path towards you…