Why do people attend universities?

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I will appreciate every comment on my essay about my mistakes
Thanks in advance
Mohammad

Nowadays, many young people in Iran tend to enter university. When you ask them why they like to enter university, you hear different answers. In this essay, I’m going to bring some of the reasons for the eagerness of young people to enter universities:
1- Some people believe that entering university is the only way for having a prosperous life. Without attending university they feel frustrated and down.
2- A few people are interested in a subject, and they go to university to follow their interests. They are curious and they aren’t afraid of their future. They just follow what they are interested in.
3- Many people don’t have enough finance for establishing their own business. So, they attend to universities to learn some skills and by that make money in a respectful manner. If they get accepted in universities that they have to pay for their education, maybe they give up their objective and try to work as a low level worker. Even though, there are people who borrow money to pay their expenses.
4- Some people go to university because their parents force them to attend university. This behavior of parents could have some reasons.
• Maybe they have a complex about entering universities, because they couldn’t be able to enter universities, they wish their children can compensate this shortcoming for them.
• They are envy of their relatives. For instance, because the son of one of the relatives has entered to university, our son must accept into university, otherwise we should feel humiliated.
5- There isn’t enough in the country. So, one option for dealing with the problem is going to university to spend time, maybe in the future condition might be changed and with the skills that they have learned, it’s probable that they can find a job.
6- Most of Iranian girls have some limitations in society, and most of the times they have to be at the house. One of the excuses for coming out of the house and getting to socialize with society and experience the outside world is entering university. It’s acceptable to almost all the Iranian families that their daughter goes to university. Moreover, these girls can find eligible husbands at the university too.

TOEFL listening discussions: An assistant lecturer talking to a new student

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I will appreciate every comment on my essay about my mistakes
Thanks in advance
Mohammad

Nowadays, many young people in Iran tend to enter university. When you ask them why they like to enter university, you hear MANY different /answers/REPLIES. In this essay, I’m going to bring some of the reasons for the eagerness of young people to enter universities:

1- Some people believe that entering university is the only way for THEIR having a prosperous life. Without attending university they feel frustrated and down.
2- A few people are interested in a subject, and they go to university to follow their interests. They are curious and they are NOT afraid of their future. They just follow what they are interested in.
3- Many people do NOT have enough finance for establishing their own business. So, they attend to universities to learn some skills and /by that/IN THAT WAY THEY ARE ABLE TO/ make money in a respectABLE manner. If they get accepted inTO universities that they have to pay for their education(.) Maybe they give up their objective and try to work as a low level worker. Even though, there are people who borrow money to pay their expenses.
4- Some people go to university because their parents force them to attend university. This behavior of parents could have some reasons.
• Maybe they have a complex about entering universities, because they WERE NOT be able to enter universities, they wish their children can compensate this shortcoming for them.
• They are envIOUS of their relatives. For instance, because the son of one of the relatives has entered to university(.) “Our son must accept into university, otherwise we should feel humiliated.”
5- There IS NOT enough WORK in the country. So, one option for dealing with the problem is /going/TO GO/ to university to spend time, maybe in the future conditionS might be changed CHANGE(,)and with the skills that they have learned, IT IS probable that they can find a job.
6- Most of Iranian girls have some limitations in society, and most of the times they /have to be at the house/STAY AT HOME/. One of the excuses for coming out of the house and getting to socialize with society and experience the outside world is entering university. It IS acceptable to almost all the Iranian families that their daughter goes to university. Moreover, these girls can find eligible husbands at the university too.
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Good morning Mohammad. This was a good essay, although it lacked a conclusion.
Nevertheless, it was good.

Kitos. 8/10