Which is better to travel outside or to stay in the same country?
Many people nowadays, moves to many countries, to find the best place to live in. Many of them move to find a better job, community or even climate, so that they could live in peace. However, some people stay and live in the country that they have been bored or raised in, as a fear that other people may not acknowledge them. This is because; people in different countries have different traditions, attitudes and way of thinking. In my point of view, I prefer that it would be more sophisticated to travel to other countries, for the following reasons.
As people travels to other countries, there is a strong possibility that they may find better paid jobs. In which, it would allow them to satisfy all their needs and wants, and which will also motivate them to improve their skills and careers. Second, a person that travels to many countries will get the advantage of practicing all his sports and hobbies, for example; a person who was raised in Riyadh will not be able to practice the winter sports, such as SKI. Moreover, as people travels to other countries, they will also be able to make more friendships with other people around the world.
Therefore, it would make the person more friendly with others and will enhance his manners for the best. As a result, the person will understands how to deal with people from different nations, and how to be responsible among himself. Last but not the least, a person will get more knowledge and education if he went outside his country for education, this is because; universities in other countries may be more developed than universities that are in a person’s country.
In conclusion, there are many advantages to a person if he traveled outside than its drawbacks. As a result, I prefer to travel outside my country to benefit from the above advantages to live in a better community.
Which is better; to travel outside or to stay inside the same country?
Many people nowadays, move to OTHER countries to find A BETTER place to live.
MOST move IN THE HOPE OF findING a better job, community or even climate, so that they CAN live in peace.
However, some people stay and live in the country that they have been BORN or raised in, FROM a fear that other people may not acknowledge them.
This is because; people in different countries have different traditions, attitudes and wayS of thinking.
FROM my point of view, I prefer that it would be more sophisticated to travel to other countries, for the following reasons.
WHEN people travel to other countries, there is a strong possibility that they may find better paid jobs, which would allow them to satisfy all of their needs and wants, and which will also motivate them to improve their skills and careers.
Secondly, a person that travels to many countries will get the advantage of practicing all his sports and hobbies.
For example; a person who was raised in Riyadh will not be able to practice the winter sports, such as SKIING. Moreover, as people travel to other countries, they will also be able to DEVELOP more friendships with other people around the world, therefore, it would make the person more friendly AND OPEN with others and will enhance his manners for the BETTER.
As a result, the person will understand how to deal with people from different nations, and how to ACT responsiblY.
Last but not the least, a person will GAIN more knowledge and education if he went outside his country for education, this is because; universities in other countries may be more developed than universities that are in a person’s OWN country.
In conclusion, there are many advantages FOR a person TO travel outside THEIR OWN COUNTRY than drawbacks.
thanks a lot Kitosdad for correcting my essay, could you also please tell me my score and what are the weak things you think that I should work on to improve my essay.
Good morning Emilly. I have bracketed words that are either not required, or are not relevant in the context of your sentences. Some words lack an “S”, whilst others have an “S” where it is not required.
Look at the edited version to see the correct usage of the words, or their unnecessary use.
You have a good command of the language, but maybe you fail to consider what you write, so eager are you to get your ideas into print.
Slow down. Read each sentence, and only proceed when you are happy in your own mind that what you have written is correct.
You are doing fine. Perhaps you might find time to read a little more.
Reading is, by far, the most comprehensive way to learn English.