Please help me rate and show me mistakes in my essay writing task 2! Thanks a lot!
Since the era of industrialization and modernization at the end of the 20st century, “stress” seems to have become the spotlight on social media, and the most searched on the internet. The number of young people committing suicide induced by stress, has been increasing alarmingly. This essay will look at the reason for this and propose some solutions.
One of the main causes of the problem is that work pressure has been a concern of all workers today before the threat from being replaced by machines. For mill workers, they are forced to raise their labor productivity in compatibility with automatic assembly lines which never feel exhausted. Although the industry machinery improves the effectiveness in production, workers must create more products quickly. For office staff, with the development of technology, they can be overwhelmed with information from various digital sources, multitasking to fulfill a project on time. The more complicated job requires employees to equip themselves with various skills. Such prolonged working hard can have detrimental effects to the mental and physical health of labor. The solution is for the employer to cut working hours by half, which would permit workers to unwind and recuperate physicality. Dubai currently is a pioneer who is experimenting with working three days a week.
Another problem is that many families, especially single - parent families, feel depressed over obstacles in their life. In hustle and bustle life pacing, it is not hard to witness many people struggling with the work-life balance, and economic problems as well. The financial burden would be exponential when single parents have to raise their children without any support from their spouse. In the US, for example, the number of single mothers having postpartum depression and even killing their baby by themselves has become a serious social issue today. Besides, feeling stuck in marital life and being hurt in love easily makes people fall into negative thoughts. To tackle this problem, taking time out to relax or some light physical exercises and practising mindfulness meditation would be an effective way to release stress and anxiety, helping people be calm to untie knots in their heart. In addition, there is growing evidence showing that eating healthily, providing essential nutrients for the brain, can balance our mood, helping to reduce stress.
A third cause of the problem is that the expectations of parents are sometimes too high to put pressure on their children. Although any parent hopes for the children’s talent and success, they force their children to be more outstanding than others. It would be stressful for children when they make their parents frustrated. In Vietnam recently, a shocking death of a young boy, studying in a grammar school, jumped from the high floor of an apartment building after fiercely arguing with his father. The way forward for parents could be to listen, understand and respect the children’s desires. Parents also put themself in children’s shoes to share, support, and stand by when children disappoint.
To sum up, stress has become popular in many countries due to reasons such as working intensely for a long time, being stuck in life, and even the expectation of parents. This is a serious problem, negatively affecting the quality of life. My view is that the main responsibility for solving the problem lies with parents, corporations, and perspectives of each other.