Universities should spend the same for students’ sports activities and Libraries

[Ameri]

Hello dear Luschen, could you please check my essay? I appreciate you generosity.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Sport activities play a significant role in humans’ life. Not only are they necessary for us to stay healthy, but also such activities have the capability of providing fun and entartainment for people. As a result, the question of whether or not universities should spend the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to their university libraries, is a horribly important inquiery and should receive great attention. In my opinion, sport activities are extremely important and essential for students for two reasons.

 First, exercise is neccessary for all people, specially for the youth. Without doing sport, our health could get enrolled in danger, and if so, continuuing the life would get ackward. For instance, when I was in the University of Texas at Austin, I performed a research on how exercises could be important in improving our health. Many papers were published in this regard and all of them had confirmed that without doing sports, the human's body is succeptible to terrible diseases such as cancer, MS, etc. Besides, in people who are genetically vulnerable to such incurable diseases, doing physical exercises can protect them in front of such offenses. As you can see, play a significant role in humans' health.

 Second, students can better study if they do sports, as such activities lead in happiness and produce entertainment for them. For instance, one of my friends study Civil Engineering at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. He explains that althogh he is faceing horrible tough days as the lessons are so hard, doing sports usually makes him get rid of much stresses and tensions. Most of the time, he goes to the Tennis Court and play with his friends. They have much fun and gain a lot of energy after playing Tennis. He believes that if he didn't have the opportunity to play tennis, he could never cope with difficult courses offered by the University. As it is obvious, sports are important.

 All in all, I believe that doing sport activities is a crusial factor in life, specially for students. Not only it guarrantees students' health but also it provide fun and pleasure for them, and in this way students can better study. All universities should spend enough money on sport facilities to make it as much perfect as possible for pupils.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why are these young men in conversation?

[Luschen]

Hi Ameri, I thought your essay was pretty good, but it bothered me that you never definitively answered the question. You did give some good support in favor of sports activities though. I liked your personal and detailed examples. You had quite a few odd or awkward sounding phrases in this one too. Note that “specially” is usually used as an adverb before the verb - “this car is specially made for Formula 1 races”} Even though you did go to UT - Hook 'Em Horns! I am afraid I have to rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

@Ameri

Hello dear Luschen, could you please check my essay? I appreciate you generosity.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Sport activities play a significant role in humans’ li[ves]. Not only are they necessary for us to stay healthy, but also such activities have the capability of providing fun and entartainment for people. As a result, the question of whether or not universities should spend the same amount of money to [on] their students’ sports activities as they give to their university libraries, is a horribly {“horribly” sounds odd here} important inquiery[inquiry] and should receive great attention. In my opinion, sport activities are extremely important and essential for students for two reasons. {you did not really directly answer the question posed by the prompt}

 First, exercise is neccessary{one c} for all people, specially{"especially" is better here}  for the youth. Without doing sport{"playing sports" is better}, our health could get enrolled{"get enrolled" is very awkward here} in danger, and if so, continuuing{one  u}  the life would get ackward.{this doesn't really make sense - what do you mean?} For instance, when I was in the University of Texas at Austin,{my alma mater!  Ok, you get an automatic A+ } I performed a research [study] on how exercises could be important in improving our health. Many papers were published in this regard and all of them [s]had [/s]confirmed that without doing sports, the human[s]'s [/s]body is succeptible{spelling} to terrible diseases such as cancer, MS, etc.{avoid using abbreviations}  Besides, in people who are genetically vulnerable to such incurable diseases, doing physical exercises can protect them in front of {"in front of" is incorrect here - I guess you mean "from such"} such offenses. As you can see, {you seem to be missing a word here} play a significant role in humans' health.

 Second, students can better study if they do sports, as such activities lead [s]in[/s][to] happiness and produce entertainment{"produce entertainment" sounds pretty odd} for them. For instance, one of my friends stud[ies] Civil Engineering at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. He explains that althogh{spelling} he is faceing{sp} horribl[y ] {it sounds a little better here} tough days as the lessons are so hard, doing {"playing" is better} sports usually makes him get rid of much stresses {"much stress and tension" or "many stresses and tensions", but the former is better} and tensions. Most of the time, he goes to the Tennis Court {no caps} and play[s ] with his friends. They have much fun and gain a lot of energy after playing Tennis.{no caps} He believes that if he didn't{avoid contractions} have the opportunity to play tennis, he could never cope with [the] difficult courses offered by the University.{no caps} As [s]it [/s]is obvious, sports are important.

 All in all, I believe that doing sport activities is a crusial{sp} factor in life, [ e]specially for students. Not only [does] it guarrantees[guarantee] students' health but also it provide[s ] fun and pleasure for them, and in this way students can better study. All universities should spend enough money on sport facilities to make [s]it[/s][them] as much perfect as possible for pupils.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why are these young men in conversation?

[Ameri]

Hi dear Luschen, thanks a lot for your comments on my essays. I highly appreciate your generous devotion of time. Hook 'Em Horns