“When I was one-year old child, I was crawling to see my parents.
In the backyard, my dad was taking a bath while my mom helped him
by pumping water-hand-pump. All of a sudden my mum cried aloud that
a cobra was moving towards the house where I was crawling
towards the snake. When my dad got up and looked for the snake,
the snake gently entered into the house drainage pipe and hid
itself. My dad picked up good size stones and plugged the drainage
with those stones on both sides. Then my dad brought two laborers
with crow-bars and sticks. Those boys instructed my mom to prepare
boiled water on a big vessel.
They slightly tilted the stones laid at drainage at the inner side of the house
and poured down the boiling water into the drain. After a few minutes later,
they opened the drain at the backyard side to let the snake come out.
As they expected the snake came out slowly as if it was staggering.
The two boys gave good blows to the snake with crow-bars and sticks so that
it died on the spot. Then they buried it in the back-yard.
The people in the street warned my parents to vacate the house. They
suspected mate of the killed snake might come to the house at any time.
But my parents ignored their warning and lived there in the same house
for another one year without any problem of snake. Thanks to God.”
Please correct this and modify it with proper opt words.
Thanks.
Hi, interesting story. I feel a bit sad for the snake - getting doused with boiling water, then pounded to death with a crowbar, but I guess cobras can be very dangerous. Maybe it is because we have a pet corn snake: snakesnmoresnakes.blogspot.com/2 … snake.html
Luschen,
1.
Can I replace “All of a sudden my mum cried out loud that a cobra was moving towards the house where I was crawling towards the snake”
with
“All of a sudden my mum cried out loud, “cobra, cobra, My child is there!”, while I was crawling towards the snake.”.
Is it more appealing or not?
Please correct and comment.
2.
Shouldn’t we use the phrase ‘another one year’?
3. I was crawling to see my parents. {“crawling to see my parents” sounds a bit odd}
Could you please rephrase the sentence so that it will not look odd?
Thanks for your kind correction. It helps me a lot.
Luschen,
“When I was a one-year old child, I was crawling outside to see my parents.
In the backyard, my dad was taking a bath while my mom helped him
by pumping the water hand-pump. All of a sudden my mum cried out loud,
“cobra! cobra!” because a cobra was moving towards the house while
I was crawling towards the snake.
When my dad got up and looked for the snake, the snake stealthily
entered into the house drainage pipe and hid itself. My dad picked up
good size stones and plugged the drainage pipe with those stones on both sides.
Then my dad brought two laborers with crow-bars and sticks. Those boys
instructed my mom to prepare boiling water in a big vessel.
They slightly tilted the stones laid at the drain inside the house
and poured the boiling water into the drain. After a few minutes,
they opened the drain at the backyard side to let the snake come out.
As they expected, getting doused with boiling water, the snake came out slowly
as if it was stunned. The two boys gave good blows to the snake with crow-bars
and sticks so that it died on the spot. Then they buried it in the backyard.
The people in the street warned my parents to vacate the house. They
suspected the mate of the killed snake might come to the house at any time.
But my parents ignored their warning and lived there in the same house
for another year without any problem from snakes. Thanks to God.”
Wow, it sounds very good! Where did this take place if you don’t mind me asking? My son is very interested in snakes of all kinds. He says that spectacled cobras cause the most deaths of any venomous snake.
“The length of the snake was one and a half times my father’s height and its width was as big as my father’s leg.” Is correct. Here in the southern US we usually describe snakes as “It was as big around as my father’s leg.” but that might be a bit informal. I looked at the town on Google maps - you are very far south - and very near the beach! Kanya Kumari is a big resort town, right? It sounds like India gets pretty good waves - I would like to visit and surf! My website surfing guide says that right now Tiruchindur is getting very good waves.
No, they are both needed. You are correct that in most cases, repetition is a bad thing, but in English we use “the” so often that we usually don’t even notice how often it is repeated unless it is left out where it belongs
