TOEFL essay: You receive a land and use as you wish

Please have a look and grade it.

You receive a land and use as you wish. Which way you want to use that land.

Receiving a land is something like my dream is coming true. Every person has his own choice and wish to use a land. Some people want to build a house, on the other hand some persons really invest their land into business. I am sure that being a doctor, I am going to build a hospital on that land. Holding the opinion of building hospital has several reasons.

Primary reason to build a hospital is to provide medical care to community. As a doctor, I took an oath of helping humankind, treat them and cure their diseases. I will try to have well equipped diagnostic and operative machines. I will provide special facilities for older people, homeless people and non insured persons. Children will be considered special attention always.

In addition, I will provide employment to skillful and needy persons. For running a hospital, we have to have people for different works. For example, security, ward boys, nurses, and cleaning staff are also required for a hospital. Providing employment will make feel me good because it’s a step to reduce unemployment in my country.

Finally, I can make profit from it. Profit is not only in terms of money but also in the form of respect. Health industry is the most successful business that one can do these days. Making profit out of it is not my main motive but I am pretty sure hospital will make my name famous at least in my country.

Concluding it, I think that I can have the best deal of building a hospital over the receiving land. This will be the best way to fulfill my dreams as well as I can serve community by provide medical care, increase employment and make profit out of it. Therefore, I can say that that will be the best use of the receiving land.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor discuss World War II?

Good morning Bds. As you can see, I have only edited your introductory paragraph.

Your lack of making use of ARTICLES and PREPOSITIONS in your essay greatly reduced its impact on the reader. Your ideas and opinions are excellent, marred only by your apparent inability to express your thoughts clearly, (in English).

Your English would improve if you were to devote some time in studying their use in everyday writing and communication.