Hi,
Although my first essay has not been reviewed by anybody yet, I am again posting my today’s essay with the hope that this time definately somebody will review it and give me comments to improve my writing style.
It is my humble request to Kitosdad or anybody to review my both the essays and amend me. My toefl exam is on 16 jan 10 and GRE is on 20 feb 10, so I really need to improve my writing within this short time. Please help me.
Thank you.
“Success in any realm of life comes more often from taking chances or risks than from careful and cautious planning.”
Today’s era is a period of development and competition. If you are into any competition then the bible rule is you have to take chances or certain risks in order to increase the probability factor of success. The best example to support previous point is: Stock exchange market and Business world. Although careful and cautious planning is also an important factor, it should be taken into consideration in a limited time in order to gain success.
In today’s world the only constant thing is change and development. The business world is expanding its boundaries like a chain reaction and it would be difficult to survive for oneself among many competitors. If we analyze the mobile manufacturing companies then the graph shows that if one company say Blackberry has come up in market with a new feature say music player or new version then it will be necessary for its competitors like Motorola, Nokia, etc to launch a better product having music player with additional features in a limited time in order to compete. Here requires the ability to take chances and risks in order to compete and succeed. If Motorola emphasized more on careful and cautious planning then it is more likely that Blackberry would have launched a new feature like a location navigator when Motorola is still busy in implementing and launching a music player with additional feature. This trend directly affects the stock exchange market listings of a company. Therefore, there are more chances of getting success through taking chances or risks.
Moreover, there are few cases of careful and cautious planning that ended up with failures. The best example to support this is the economy crisis which today’s world is going through. Many banks faced money crisis and results to bankruptcy. Hence it is not certain that careful and cautious planning would lead to success.
In conclusion, success comes more often to those who are good at taking chances and risks. Now a day’s careful and cautious planning has become an additional factor instead of primary factor. Technical world needs spontaneity which is only possible through the ability of taking risks in an efficient way.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and a professor in the professor’s office