TOEFL essay sample: Parents are the best teach

Please correct my essay.
Well, I agree with statement that parents are best teacher.They teach us discipline, good behaviour, responsibility,and last but not the least how to respect elderly .
Parents are the first and best teacher we ever had.They helps us in every aspect of life.
For example, When we are a kid, they protect us from external environment ,and when we are in adolescent stage, parents protect us from bad social elements, and when we are adult, parents helps us in making good carrier decision.

Parents teach us how to speak ,how to respect other’s opnion, and how to make independent decisions about carrier or business.In my country elder people say that by seeing the parents we can know how their kids would be.
Parents are the first one to support there kids during happiness and during critical situation.Kids without good parents may go into depression and may be pesmistic.
So, by good parenting we can structure or build your kid strong enough to all critical situations.
So, my conclusion is"Parents are the god’s gift to us".

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor explain the history of coffee?

Hi Sri,

Many thanks for your appealing essay. First of all, I think you must pay attention to your paragraph structure. Second, you must avoid using spoken words like: so and well. Third, avoid mentioning God in your essays. Because you will never know who will correct it. Some people do not believe in God. Fourth, make sure of the space after the comma and the full stop. After the comma, press the space bar only once, after the full stop, press it twice. To sum up, bear in mind the above-mentioned and make °Being clear° your primary focus.

excuse me, give me some comments please…thank you.

my essay:

When we talk about teacher, we usually immediately think about people who teach in school or college. But I think that teacher is a person who gives you knowledge, experience, and good advices. Our parents are the first teachers in our life. They teach us the first lessons and many things in the best way.
Firstly, parents teach their children the first lessons. When their offspring were baby, they taught their children to walk, to speak, to have good manners before reach the real world. On the other hand, when their children reach surrounding environment, the parents help them to integrate. They teach and explain many things from the simplest things. With things that they taught, steps by steps children will be able to fall in line with real life.
Secondly, parents always give their children the best advices and support them in the best way. Parents often talk to their children with the sweet words, with their love and caring. When the children are advised with sweet words they will follow it. Unconsciously, children often copy adult’s behaviors even they are a little baby. So their parents, who are the most closely adults to children, are the examples for them. In addition, when we need aids our parents always willing to help, to give advices, to support and to encourage us with the wish: their children will overcome all obstacles in life.
Truly, our parents are the first teachers. They are the greatest and the most important teachers of us. With lessons and advices, steps by steps they guide us to make our way in the world. In our whole life, we need to thanks to our parents

First of all, there some language mistakes in your essay. I am sure you will be able to overcome them in the not-too-distant future by reading more and more. I am going to post a topic about how to write coherently in this forum soon. I advise you to read it in order to know how to organize your ideas in an accurate way. Second, you mentioned above: On the other hand but you did not mention the first hand :smiley: . We say: in the one hand,… On the other hand… Third, when you want to write a list of things like you did here: they taught their children to walk, to speak, to have good manners before reach the real world. The last of the list must always be after and, i.e. they taught their children to walk, to speak, and to have good manners before reach the real world.
As I said above, you need to overcome the language mistakes like these: they are a little baby ( they are little babies ). When their offspring were baby ( were babies ).

I am sure you are going to shape up :wink: ( I hope to shape up, too :wink: )

thanks happytofita.Can u mail me some tips for writing and speaking ,my next toefl is on december 12th.I really appreciate your help.You can mail me at vuyuri_27@yahoo.co.in.
thanks.

many thanks for Happytofita. I will try best…I hope you will correct my essays…thank you!

Actually, I am not that good at writing nor at speaking. I can give you some tips, though.

This is my hotmail if you want me to help you with what I know. : happytofita@hotmail.fr