TOEFL essay: People can solve the most problems in their lives

Agree or disagree? People can solve the most problems in their lives by themselves or with the help of their families; help from the government is often not necessary.

Nowadays, government plays an very crucial role on people’s life. People often hold different opinions on whether people can solve the most problems by themselves or their family instead of the government or not. Based on my personal experience and own observation of life, I believe people need the help from the government to solve their problems and my reasons are as follow.

To begin with, people have trouble finding a job and the help from the government is very essential for people. That is to say, the government can offer many ways to help citizens get employed successfully. For instance, when I was unemployed two years ago, I received a job training program invitation from Taiwanese government. The Taiwanese government provided many aspects of training courses help me with job interviews and I got a job just in two weeks. On the other hand, if I could only call my family for help, I wouldn’t find a job such fast.

Secondly, people have many physical and mental problems, and the government plays an important role in the process to solve the problem. To further elaborate, the government can take many actions such as building up hospitals and therapy centers to help people with those problems. For example, in Taiwan, we have a National Health Insurance, which helps to lower the price of medicine and allow citizens to see doctors with affordable price. Therefore, the government is very important role to help us with problems.

Last but not the least, adults have problem to earn money for supporting their lives and it’s very vital for governments to solve this problem together with habitants. To clarify that, people need to spend money on buying a house for family, paying taxes, and so on. And governments always help adults with financial issues. Take my cousin, Rachel, as an example. She got married last year, but she and her husband found it hard for them to buy a house for their living. At the same time, they noticed our government provided a housing fund and loan program especially for young couple. They applied for the program and got enough money to buy a house afterwards.

For aforementioned reasons, I think governments are still important when people want to solve problems. Governments helps us when we are unemployed; governments assist us when we come across health issues; governments support us when we need more money.

// this is my first posting essay here :slight_smile: if there are any things I haven’t followed please tell me thank you :slight_smile:


are there anyone who can give me some advice ><?

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Hi Daisy, welcome to the forum. I think your format is very effective and you have addressed the prompt correctly. Your thesis and topic sentences are very clear and your specific examples are relevant and convincing. Overall, your writing is pretty clear, but you have numerous small grammar and word usage errors that make much of your writing sound somewhat unnatural. Also, your vocabulary is a bit basic and as a result, you have a lot of repetitive words and phrases. Here are some specific suggestions:


Hi, Luschen:
Thank you a lot for your precious time! You mentioned many mistakes and problems that I didn’t notice. It’s really helpful and I’ll work on my grammar and vocabulary, thanks again :slight_smile: ( so glad I found before my TOEFL test :smiley: )


Your topic seems to be nice for reading. You have written well. Mistakes will make us master when we learn to correct it.



Hi, Shanthisethuraman:
Thank you!! I will keep working on it :slight_smile:

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Wish you all the very best for preparing TOFEL Exam.

Thank you