TOEFL Essay correction: student learn is of vital importance

Dear Alan, could you please correct my essay and rate it with the toefl TWE scale. I really need your help as I am facing only essay problem and there is nobody exept you who can help me with essay. Many thanks.

Question: do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Answer:
The question what should student learn is of vital importance. People think that it is more important to learn literature and art subjects; others deem that for students it is essential to study science and mathematics. Generally, I think that both studying literature and art, or science and mathematics are important for students. But, in real life student usually choose to concentrates on one or two group of subjects depending on his major or specialization. As for me, it is more important to study science and mathematics as I am majoring in economics.
For those students who study economics as a major subject should conentrate their attention on science and mathematics. Mathematics gives an economist tools to predict how the economy will develop. For example, there is a statistic method called regression analysis which gives a reseacher an opportunities to build prognoses of main economic indicators. Second, economics is very strict and precise science which is similar to mathematics. A lot of principles of mathematics can be adjusted to develop new economic theories. Thus, it is quite important for students with economic major to study mathematics.
Another point why all students should concentrate on science and mathematics is the chance to broaden their viewpoint. It is generally known that fundamental sciences, especially, mathematics are everywhere even in art and music. For example, one of the most famous painting of the Reneisance period was L. Da Vinci’s Vitruvian man. But not every people know that this perfect man has precise mathematic proportion of length of arms, legs etc. Therefore, studying science and mathematics can be benificial for all students.
Admittedly, what subject is more important for students to study is their own decision and this decision mainly depends on their major. We cannot say that one subject is more important than another. Every subject in university curriculum is of equal importance.
In conclusion, the answer to the question what is more important for students literature and art or science and mathematics depends on their majors. For instance, students majoring in economics would probably argue that science and mathematics are more important for them. In the other hand, art students would argue that literature and art are more essential. As an economist with any doubt I would say that science and mathematics is more important.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the design of the sweatshirt?

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Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:00 pm Post subject: essay correction


Dear Alan, could you please correct my essay and rate it with the toefl TWE scale. I really need your help as I am facing only essay problem and there is nobody exept you who can help me with essay. Many thanks.

Question: do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Answer:

This is quite good but check on the correct use of singular or plural subjects. It is best to use the expression main subject for major and specializing for majoring.

Alan

People should sometimes do things thet they do not enjoy doing.

 1.Humanity is the most developed creature on earth.2.Despite to the high evolution of the population they still have stuffs to do that they  displeasure doing it.3.I agree that a mankind every now and again hates performing tools which they don't love.4.This is due to the disagreeable sports and hard education.
 Body-1.
 1.We all would agree that individuals perform sport even though it's unpleasant thing to complete.2.For example wake up early morning and run for your wellness,I think it's the most annoyable item to accomplish.3.The prim reason is who would have woken up from beautiful dreaming sleep and do jogging.4.Thus exercise is one of the worst and unenjoyable objects that one does it only for getting a good condition.
Body-2.

1.It’s fact that some generation study even if they don’t get pleasure at that time.2.For instance when student go to school they have to learn the subject which they abhor.3.Main cause is maybe it’s not an interresting topic or it’s a poor issue.4.That’s why our posterity sometimes acting performances that can’t be a enjoyable.
Conclusion
1.All in all citizenry do not revel doing substances like sport and erudition.2.For this humans are doing things that is no have satisfaction to do it…3.It is predicted that nowadays there are much more residents who make events that even is loathe for them to execute.