To what extent has the traditional male role changed in the last 20 years?


i wrote another essay for ielts general training.
Would be great if you could take a look at it.



To what extent has the traditional male role changed in the last 20 years?

Over the past 20 years a lot of things have been changed. Amonst others due to a fast growing globalisation, new inventions as well as national and international developments. Everyone is very well aware about technology and political changes during this period. Very little is known about changes in the human development in particular the male role. This essay is going to look at a couple of major changes.

Not too long ago man had the role of the strong, fearless and sucessful business man. The person who carries all the responsibility, makes all the decisions and is financially taking care of his family. Showing any kind if feelings that could potential damage their role model image was not allowed.

Ten to fithten years ago with the help of role models from popular pop music crews especially young man started to develop away the strong male role towards a rather soft and thoughtful being. It was also a time were male experimented with their. Wearing female looking clothes and bright makeup wasn’t unusual either.

Today it seems to be a good balance between strong and soft. It it common that a strong male shows feelings. Also today’s man share their responsibilities and decisions with their partner and their family. The times of a two class society between man and woman are gone now. As well as the high pressure of taking care of everything.

To summarize, the male role has gone through a lot of developments during the past twenty years. From the strong hardliner, a make up wearing softy to a finally well balanced man who can be strong and thoughtful at the same time.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a life sciences class (3)

Hi, I thought this was a very interesting essay. I am not sure I agree with everything, but you presented some good opinions with relevant examples. Watch out for your sentence fragments. If you start a sentence with because, although, as well as or since, you usually need another independent clause to make it a complete sentence. You have some other grammatical errors, but overall, your essay sounds fairly natural. I would rate it a 4 out of 5.