This topic made me so confused

[Tra_Thuu]

Hi everybody, could someone of you explain this topic for me, please? Some of the phrases appearing in this topic including “make continuous progress” made me so confused, and I found it was hard for me to explain clearly my point when I did not thoroughly understand about the words mentioned in the topic.
Please explain the topic for me please and give some feedback for my essay
You are all saviors <3

Topic: One hundred years ago, some people believed that the human race would make continuous progress in all areas of life. Today, people feel less certain about this.

In what areas do you think the most important progress has been made? In what areas does more need to be done?

People who were living one century ago held a belief that human could continuously develop all areas of life, however, people of today’s world are no longer confident about this statement. This essay will list down and explain some areas that I believe are the most crucial progress has been made, and areas that are in need of more improvement.

During the last one hundred years, there are many crucial progresses including technology and agriculture have been developed by the human. First, technological advances such as computers and cellphones have a significant contribution to the development of the world. In 1890, the Internet was initially introduced worldwide and rapidly changed the world as Internet-based computers’ users could easily access with a limitless source of information. As a result, people could attend some online language classes which help learners to enhance their language skill without putting effort in traveling to some traditional classes. Second, agriculture is another area that experiences a considerable development in the last few decades. In Vietnam, for example, Vietnamese farmers have applied many new methods in cultivating that could help these people to reduce the rate of damages in fruit including apple when harvesting.

However, some areas including education are in the alarming situation in which human need to pay more attention to. In the Africa continent, for instance, many governments are not allocating enough resources on building schools and training qualified teacher and suffering from some repercussions. As there are not enough schools for children specially who are living in rural to attend, many gifted students do not have a chance to be nurtured. Consequently, many African governments would loss a number of talented people who might play an integral role in introducing innovations in the future.

To conclude, it is reasonable that people recently feel less confident about the continuous development of all areas of life as there are many areas including education that need people to take more action to be done. However, many areas such as technology and agriculture are well-developed and make a significant contribution to the world.

[Luschen]

Hi Trà Thuu, I agree it is a little confusing. It is great that you are reading the prompt so carefully, since that is a critical step in writing an essay that addresses the prompt correctly. Sometimes phrases like this are very critical to the prompt, while in other cases, such as this particular prompt I believe, they are not quite so important. The way I read the prompt is imagine yourself as a person one hundred years ago imagining that life will just continue to get better and better in every area. Now that would have been 1919, so you might imagine by now we would have flying cars and gleaming futuristic cites with no poverty and would surely have cured cancer and many other diseases.
But with better education and easier access to news, most people recognize today that progress is more incremental or stop-and-go and sometimes areas even deteriorate. With all this said, I don’t think the continuous" aspect is the main point fo this essay or even a very big secondary point. It is good to mention it, since the grader will want to be sure you realize what continuous means, so use some words like steady growth, or nonstop improvement, as well as some antonyms when you discuss the other side, such as incremental improvements, sporadic development, or similar phrases. In your essay I think you have addressed the main point of prompt, which is to discuss areas that have steadily gotten better and others that may have gotten worse or that at least still need a lot of work. Here are some specific suggestions:

@Tra_Thuu

People who were living one century ago [sometimes/often] {the prompt does not say or imply everyone, it says some} held a belief that [humanity] could continuously develop [in] all areas of life, {I think better to say “continuously improve all areas of life”} however, people of today’s world are no longer [as] confident about this statement. This essay will list down and explain some areas that I believe are [where] the most crucial progress has been made, and [others] that are in need of more improvement.

During the last one hundred years, there [have been] many crucial progresses {I think progress is non-countable - “much crucial progress” or “many crucial areas of progress”} including technology and agriculture [that] have been developed by the human.{“the human” is wrong, but “developed by humans” still sounds odd. Human is used mainly when talking about biology or comparing humans to animals - so here it sounds like you are implying humans are making these developments, but animals are not doing their part! } First, technological advances such as computers and cellphones have [made] a significant contribution to the development of the world. In 1890, {I don’t think it is quite that old } the Internet was initially introduced worldwide and rapidly changed the world as Internet-based [computer] {I think “computer” as an adjective sounds better here} users could easily access with a limitless source of information. As a result, people could {I think “can” is better now because you are talking about the actual present and not a hypothetical situation} attend some online language classes which help learners to enhance their language skill without putting effort in traveling to some traditional classes. Second, agriculture is another area that [has experienced] a {I would leave out “a” here, since you are talking about development in the non-countable sense} considerable development in the last few decades. In Vietnam, for example, Vietnamese farmers have applied many new methods in [cultivation] {I think I mentioned before that when there is a “tion” ending, we generally use that instead of the “ing” word - for instance, movies are “motion pictures”, not “moving pictures”} that could help these people to reduce the rate of [damage] in fruit[,] including [apples,] when harvesting. {“… fruit, such as apples, when …” is more natural}

However, some areas including education are in the alarming situation in which {better to say “in an alarming situation, such that society …”} [society needs] to pay more attention to. In the [African] continent, for instance, many governments are not allocating enough resources on {“to” is better here} building schools and training qualified [teachers] [, so as a result are] suffering from some repercussions. As there are not enough schools for children[, especially those] {my tip is not to use “specially” except for “specially made” “specially designed”, or some similar “specially verb” combination} who are living in rural [areas] to attend, many gifted students do not have a chance to be nurtured. {it sounds odd to say a school nurtures someone - this is generally the parents’ job} Consequently, many African governments would [lose] a number of talented people who might play an integral role in introducing innovations in the future.

To conclude, it is reasonable that people recently feel less confident about the continuous development of all areas of life[,] as there are many areas including education that need people to take more action [for improvement] to be done. However, many areas such as technology and agriculture are well-developed and make a significant contribution to the world.

[Torsten]

@Luschen

In 1890, {I don’t think it is quite that old } the Internet was initially introduced worldwide and rapidly changed the world

Well, in Germany the internet was introduced in the 17th century and we are going to roll out 7G nationwide by the end of this year .

[Tra_Thuu]

Thank you so so much!!! Now I can thoroughly understand this topic, thank you so so much.