The description of a line graph [Help to correct grammar mistakes]

Dear Coaches,

This is a description of a line graph. I have described the line which illustrated the increase or decrease of the number of trucks sold at Petrie seller. The description as my writing, I think it is good for the illustration of the graph. But the grammar and sentence structure is somehow not very good as I care about it. Thus I need your help to correct my writing if there is any mistake appeared. Below is a picture of the graph and its description. I hope you can take a short time for my work.

Sincerely,
Kim Sa

The description of the graph above.

The line graph shows the sale of trucks in Petrie in the last decade. The number of trucks maintained the same point of 200000 from 1987 to 1989. After that, it rose steadily and reached the point of 450000 before fell back to 300000 in 1990. From 1990 to 1992, there was a dramatic increase to the point of 900000 in 1992. However, the year 1994 saw a sharply drop to the point of 500000. At this point, it stood still until 1996 before slightly declined at the point of 30000 in 1997. From 1997 to 1998, the number of trucks remained the same. In short, the graph showed a big sale of trucks in 1992 after fluctuated between 1997 and 1990; after 1992, the number of trucks decreased step by step during the following years.

The above line graph shows sale of trucks in Petrie during the last decade. During first three years the number of trucks sold remaind steady to 200000. After that figure rose steadily and sale point reached to 450000. A gradual decline was noticed during year 1989 dropping sales upto 300000. Due to high demand of market, a dramatic incline was noticed as the sale point sky rocketed upto 900,000 in 1991. As the demand decreased a gradual decline was seen during next two and half years dropping truck sales to 400000 by year 1994 which remained constant for a year and a half. During last few months of 1995 the sales plunged down to 200000 and remained constant uptil 1998.

This is my version, you might want to read the graph again.

Hi Katty2010,

I think your correction is quite great, but you should look for the graph again. There are some mistakes which I have point out in the paragraph below. And because the picture I have posted here is taken from original paper, so it looks very hard. Therefore, I post a new picture of the graph which I have painted myself. I hope we can find a better correction for my paragraph. One again, I appreciate your help.

Sincerely,
Kim Sa

The above line graph shows sale of trucks in Petrie during the last decade. From 1987 to 1989 (You must point out the years.), the number of trucks sold remained steadily at the point of 200000. After that the figure rose steadily and reached the point of 450000 before drop slightly to 300000 in 1990 (It happened in 1 year, two sentences should be connected.). Due to high demand of market, a dramatic incline was noticed as the sale point sky rocketed up to 900,000 in 1992 (In the graph, it is 1992, not 1991). As the demand decreased, a gradual decline was seen during next two years (In the graph, it is only two years) dropping truck sales to 500000 by year 1994 which remained constant for two years (In the graph, it is two years). During the last years (The graph shows in years, not months) the sales plunged down to 300000 in 1996 (In the graph, it is 300000, not 200000) and remained constant up till 1998.

It would be a good idea to make sure that viewers understand that the points on the horizontal axis represent whole years, not the nights of December 31 to January 1. You could make the years smaller and put them directly below the points, instead of in the middle of a length of line between two points as they are now.

Katty, it is good that you practice your English, but I am afraid there were several mistakes in your version. But never give up!

Dear Mr. Cerberus,

Thank you too much for your correction. I have putted the year directly below the point, so it is easier to look. Below is my writing followed your instruction.

Sincerely,
Kim Sa

The line graph shows the sale of trucks in Petrie over (yes, “over” is better) the last decade. The number of trucks sold remained at the same point of 200,000 between 1987 and 1989 (This sentence is more sense). After that, it rose steadily and reached the point of 450,000 before it fell back to 300,000 in 1990. From 1990 to 1992, there was a dramatic increase to 900,000 in 1992. However, the year 1994 saw a sharp drop to 500,000. At this point it remained, until it declined to 300,000 in 1997 (thank you for the best explanation). Between 1997 and 1998, the number of trucks sold remained the same.

In short, the graph shows a high peak in the sale of trucks in 1992 after having fluctuated between 1987 and 1990; after 1992, the number of trucks sold decreased step by step during the following years.

HI Kim Sa,
I dont think “putted” is correct english, you should write “jotted” in place of “putted”. And Thanks mr.cerberus :slight_smile: