Dear teacher
I am really appreciated if you could amend my essay. Thanks a lot
Participating in different conferences and workshops and talking with expertise, education commentators, and young people in my country, I found out that three are totally two different viewpoints about this controversial issue whether traveling with tour guide is the best way or not. A group of above mentioned people states that having leader is indispensable item on journey; however, the second group believes that traveling without having tour guide. I would like to be on side people who suggests that being with tour guide on trip is so important. I will explicate my viewpoints through the ensuing reasons.
First of all, having enough information and awareness about assorted aspects of a trip plays a crucial role in going on journey. People always prefer to experience new places and environment, so it is more likely most of them have no any background and especial or general information about them. Therefore, people probably are faced with unpredicted events during a trip. If there is a leader with people on trip is too conducive to have enough abilities to handle and cope with these events. Going to forest as a trip, for example, for people who do not have experiences of being in wood as of yet is so hazardous. A leader who are familiar to forest manage and handle these types of trip.
Secondly, having problem -solving ability on a trip is just on part of traveling. The other side of the coins is that most people are passionate and liking to get new and exciting information about place is selected to go for. The best way for getting this kind of goal in trip is to being with a leader on trip. Theta is doubt that leader has enough experiences and knowledge in details more than us about places we wanted to visit them. For instance, last year I were on trip at Germany. I visited on of the historical city in Germany. I had no any information about that city, then I referred to a person as leader who had full information of places I visited. I really enjoyed myself and my trip, in that I got variety of information about edifices and historical events existed in Germany.
In sum, it is very likely that people will never be able to come to the same conclusion on this controversial issue due to their different experiences and conflicting values, public awareness of various dimensions of the issue discussed I above argument will certainly contribute to the thorough understating of the problem. Though different view exist, I insist that having tour guide on a trip with effective management will make our trip nice.
Hi Dr. Ram, I thought your essay was pretty good. You have the correct structure and you have some good ideas that are relevant to the topic. Still, you have a lot of word choices that could be improved and a lot of small grammatical errors. It seemed like you were too hesitant to boldly state your opinion. I don’t think being wishy-washy is a good idea. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.