Thank you very much for your enthusiasm, please help me correct grammar, vocabulary, puntuation. Especially condense each paragraph. This is my last writing

[Sun_Rise]

Please:- a) give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; and

b) list any possible constraints you think may prevent you from achieving these tasks.*:

I will benefit from this scholarship in many ways, but here are the three most important

Firstly, I advise the school to set up a career orientation club for students, especially towards ethnic students.The club consists of experienced teachers and knowledgeable, professional, alumni who have been successful. The club will build a system of information on psychological age, personality, characteristics of people in a reasonable relationship with the type of work . In addition, it provides information on vocational education, and shares data on occupation and labor market, potential development in poor districts of Lao Cai province. The system of useful information will help students identify clear career goals while they are still in school.

Secondly, Renovating vocational training programs at my school is to meet the needs of jobs in Lao Cai, thereby attracting more ethnic students into education, opening up many job opportunities. The curriculum would be designed based on the construction of tourist guide model to provide students with essential skills of a real guide such as how to communicate in English, skills to introduce local tourism products and places in a friendly and attractive way. More effectively, I will cooperate with local tour guides in bringing foreign tourists and volunteer organizations to the village to help ethnic minority students. Visitors under the guidance of students will experience different types of culture of Lao Cai ethnic people. Tourists will bring more job opportunities through developing a variety of travel services

Finally, I intend to set up a volunteer English center for English training for tourism development. The center will be a homestay form providing free accommodation for foreigners in a short time. During the stay, guests will participate in teaching English for ethnic minority children. After training here, students may be volunteer tour guides for Lao Cai tourists. The center is an actual English learning and practicing environment to help ethnic minority students who cannot afford to learn English access promising professions relating to using the foreign language

There are several factors which could limit these ideal achievements, and I will keep in mind some ways I could mitigate them. First, The club does not have enough professional knowledge to build a reliable and professional information system on the basis of modern technology. Secondly, English communication of tour guides who are indigenous people is still poor, so the exchange and sharing of culture with foreign tourists is still limited.

[Luschen]

Hi Sun Rise, I think I said this before, but this answer does not mention any of the knowledge, skills or connections you expect to gain from your scholarship. Without this information, it is really just half of an answer.

[Luschen]

You already have a career orientation club, right? How will this change and what lessons you learn from the course will allow you to make these changes? Are you currently working with the tour guides or will this second example be completely from scratch after you finish the course? The third example sounds like nothing has been done yet, this is entirely a future project, right?

[Sun_Rise]

Thank you for comment! the knowledge and skills are mentioned in other questions! This question prove that I will do three real things to help my community!
IF no bother you, please help me correct grammar, vocabulary and punctuation. Especially, help me condense each paragraph
This is also my last writing I would like to ask you for help
thank you very much

[Luschen]

Hi, Ok, I kept your ideas but tried to condense it as much as possible:

@Sun_Rise

Here are three examples of how I will apply this scholarship.

Firstly, I run a career orientation club geared towards ethnic students, consisting of experienced teachers and successful professionals and alumni. We are building a database to match students’ personal characteristics, like personality and aptitude, with fulfilling career options. Furthermore, the club stresses vocational education, and shares data on job opportunities, the labor market, and potential development in poor districts of Lao Cai province to help students identify clear career goals.

Secondly, I will overhaul my school’s vocational training programs
to attract more ethnic minority students, opening job opportunities while meeting Lao Cai’s need for skilled workers. The curriculum would be based around a tourist guide model, providing students with essential English and interpersonal skills to immediately contribute to the local tourism industry. Importantly, I will cooperate with local tour guides and volunteer organizations to provide practical training to ethnic minority students, thereby allowing visitors to experience the diversity of cultures found in Lao Cai.

Finally, I intend to set up a volunteer center for English training for tourism development, providing free short-term accommodation for foreign visitors. These guests would in turn teach English to ethnic minority children, who would then serve as tour guides for future visitors. This center would provide practical English instruction and serve in a synergistic way to benefit disadvantaged minority students, visitors, and the entire Lao Cai community.

Several factors could limit these ideal achievements, factors I will be careful to mitigate. First, The club currently lacks enough professional knowledge to build a reliable technology-based information system. Secondly, the indigenous people’s English is still poor, so the current exchange and sharing of culture with foreign tourists is limited.

[Sun_Rise]

yes, they are my future projects