Talk about your dream house

English as a Second Language
1

Everyone has their own dream houses. Some wishes to have a very big and modern house. But for me I only wish to have a normal house with two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen and a big garden in front of the house as the flowing reasons:

   First of all, I just like a house with enough space to live not to large because I hate doing the house working. Cleaning and tide the house take me a lot of time. The time doing these things I read books instead cos I realy reading books. However, the house has to have place for me to greet my friends and relatives so I need a living room and a small room for me to cook dinner for my familly.

 Secondly, a house with a big garden helps me to relax after time of working hard. I can go to  the garden and do the gardening. It is extremely interesting to me. Forethusmore, a garden also brings fresh air to my house which help my family always live in clean atmosphere. I really like when thinking about this. 

     Last but not least, a small will cost less than a big house. Instead of spending all money building or buying very big house I will save money to buy something more useful. 

       For the reasons about I strongly support the idea to live in a small house with enough rooms to live in and where to hold a party to greet people to the house and also save money a lot.
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Hi Tuyet, I think your essay was on topic and very persuasive. You had some good reasons and explanations, though you might have added some specific examples - maybe a friend who lives in a big house but spends all day cleaning. Your writing was clear in general, but you did have some grammar errors here and there. Here are some specific suggestions:

Everyone has their own [concept in their mind of a] dream house. {your version made it sound like everyone has an actual dream house that they can live in} Some [wish] to have a very big and modern house. But for me[,] I only wish to have a normal house with two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen and a big garden in front of the house as the flowing reasons {it would be “for the following reasons”, but I think the thesis sounds better without this part}

First of all, I just like a house with [just] enough space to live in, not too large, because I hate doing the [housework]. Cleaning and [tidying up] the house take me a lot of time. [In] The time [otherwise spent] doing these things I read books instead [because] I [really enjoy]reading books. However, the house has to have [a ]place {or “has to have enough space for me …”} for me to greet my friends and relatives[,] so I need a living room and a small [kitchen] for me to cook dinner for my family.

Secondly, a house with a big garden helps me to relax after [a day spent] time of working hard. [To get away from the stress of everyday life, ] I can go to the garden and do the gardening[, since] is extremely interesting to me. [Furthermore], a garden also brings fresh air to my house[,] which [helps] my family [to] always live in [a] clean atmosphere. I really like when thinking about this[, as my family’s happiness is very important to me].

Last but not least, a small [dwelling] will cost less than a big house. Instead of spending all [my] money building or buying [a] very big house I will save money to buy something more useful.

For the reasons [above,] I strongly support the idea [of living] in a small house[, one that is equipped] with enough rooms to live in[, with space] and where to hold a party to greet people [visitors] to the house[, while also saving a lot of money] and also save money a lot.

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Many thanks Tutor Luschen for your help. Your correction is really useful to enable me to master my English. Any way thanks so much.

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