take position in company OR go into own business ... which one i prefer...

Someone may hold opinion that erecting own business is beneficial, on account of more liberty and authority over employers. There is some truth in it, but they fail to see many drawbacks, such as responsibilities about management and medical conditions in failure circumstances. Therefore, I tend to be a tiny part of an enormous company with less liability.
Firstly, personal businesses may seem outstanding and matchless for people with too narrow attitude towards this issue. After deep consideration, one may easily comprehend that supervising a company necessitates high management skills, which is a burden of responsibility. For example, employees don’t concern about incidents beyond their borders, whereas a leader is accountable for the probable failure and he/she is also one who undergoes and pays for the consequences. In a nutshell, leadership requires superb ability to handle the job and dare to undertake all responsibilities, as I lack of these features, I pick to be a reckless employee.
Secondly, broadly thinking, outcomes of accepting the whole responsibility would propel a person to consider about medical care. Which is another trouble associated with being a boss. Fear and anxiety of collapsing the business may trigger off extreme stress and depression, which definitely would lead to numerous diseases or discomfort. This would have a negative impact on the life of the sufferer, like damaging relationship with dears and friends. In other words, it is hazardous to enroll in a business without sufficient confidence and power to handle it, due to the medical threats.
Finally, I cannot oversee the fact that establishing own business has own benefits as much as drawbacks. Likewise, a leader has an authority over workers, also he has a freedom as much as no one can interrupt and confront with him. However, as I mentioned above to be a leader one needs high capacity to manage works, which is not in my nature to lead someone.
In short, I prefer to take a position in a company, because this doesn’t demand high-quality of expertise and there are enough conditions for me to earn a living

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the adviser’s office?

This should be a good essay, but I doubt that most people would fully understand what you are saying.
Your work is spoiled by the incorrect usage of English.

“Someone may hold opinion that erecting own business is beneficial.”…However
This is an example of what I mean. Can you see what I am getting at?.

“Some may hold the opinion that starting ones own business has many benefits.” However…
This sentence is crystal clear to any reader, whereas yours challenges the reader. Please attempt to write it again in an understandable manner.

Kitos.

oh … actually, i didnt revise essay …so it seemed a bit strange for me also :slight_smile: …thanks for your help really … God bless you… because you are helping people… not everyone can do that … thanks again !!