Students can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

ielts

#1

Pleasy give me some comments. Thanks a lot

Students can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?
My essay
The debate over the necessity of libraries in modern society has been heated constantly. While I concede that online platforms provide easier and more convenient access to information, I believe that the libraries have played indispensable roles in our life.
There are two underlying reasons why online tools are advantageous in terms of information provision. Firstly, Internet-based platforms and devices empower users with immediate access to a myriad of information and data, which could allow them to retrieve desired information instantly. For example, it just takes only a few seconds for an Internet user to look up particular historical events or medical devices. In addition, given that the government has placed emphasis on developing information and technology nowadays, online tools such as computers and smartphones have been upgraded. Therefore, information and data about worldwide events can be updated up-to-the-minute and preserved in the best way. As a result, such unremitting availability of knowledge could satisfy the quest for knowledge of any users.
On the one hand, I am adamant that the importance of libraries is undeniable owing to two main benefits. Firstly, libraries are considered as quiet studying environment in which students could pay high concentration on their study or the reading of a book without being disturbed. Consequently, these students could work and study more effectively which could help them get better marks in stiff examinations. The other advantage of libraries is that libraries’ books would provide more authenticated and reliable information and data, compared with those available on the Internet. This fact can be exemplified by Vietnamese libraries. All books in Vietnamese libraries which are checked and managed strictly would meet national standards about the level of data accuracy, which could ensure the accuracy of research books in libraries.
In conclusion, while convenient access to information is given to users by online platforms I contend that libraries maintain their important role in the modern world.


#2

Wow @Th_Bui! That is a great question and you bring up a lot of valid points in your essay. I have to say I agree with you about libraries being very important and irreplaceable in today’s society. I would also have to agree that there has been a decline in the number of libraries and people in them in the US, and this is due to the access of information that they now have on the web. The function of libraries may be shifting from access to information to more access to programs centered around literacy and participation in study and learning new things. I feel they are more interactive these days with programs designed for all ages to stimulate the love for learning and discovering new information.

I also agree that there are issues in the reliability of information that is mined from the internet. We are constantly being bombarded with censored and biased information/news in America. It is hard to separate fact from opinion anymore.

Thanks so much for posing this interesting question!


#3

It is a good essay that carries necessary information especially about its authenticity. But please see that the style remains constant and complementary so that it adds to the linguistic beauty of your essay. When you start with ‘on one hand’, you may consider completing it with ‘on the other hand’. Likewise, when you say ‘firstly’, it is better to continue with ‘secondly’, ‘thirdly’ and so on.


#4

Hi Th_Bui, I agree that your essay is well-written and organized effectively. You had a few sentences that sounded a little awkward, but overall your ideas are clear and understandable. Remember that “would” and “could” are usually used for hypothetical situations - ones that might occur, or occur under different situations, not ones that are already occurring. {I am writing these comments. If you were here in this room, I would/could tell you these things face-to-face."} Here are some other specific suggestions: