Speech: how a good person affects others. Please correct.

HI Luschan, What 's up and a lot of thanks for your help.
Here is another independent speech. I am very confused about its structure ,please correct and score it.

Question. Sometimes, one individual can have a great impact on a group .Select one person and explain how you think this person has affected others in the group. Give specific details and examples?


Transcript :slight_smile:

In my view, a good manager of a company has a great influence on his employs. As well as on the company. For example, I has been working as a cashier in the New York City Bank the last ten years. The… In the past, the manager of our company was not good – as a result company has to suffer a million dollar loss. Later on, our bank hide a new manager who was a good leader and has a (???) good qualities leadership. The bank achieved a new climb. As a result the other employs also followed the example to become better employ.

hide – I know you must have said “hired” but it sounded like “hide” to me
employs – you must have meant “employees” but I think it really sounded like “employs”

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