Some students in the USA work while they are earning degree: Pros and Cons.

(Please rate on my essay, thank you in advance)

Some students in the United States work while they are studying to earn a degree. Moreover, some students get supported from their own family. Both approaches have some merits and demerits.

However, I am definitely on the approach of family supporting as a foreign student to the USA. Though, I appreciate to them who work while they are earning their degree. A student works during the time of earning a degree; it is appreciable but not sometime worthwhile too. An extra pressuring leads disadvantages to earn a better grade certificate sometime. My friend would praise me to see the dignity of mine. Future employers may see the some work experience of me which may or not fit the job experience. But hard working and later earning a bad score certificate may not help a student to enter a better job too.

I heard and also see around me those hard worker students while they are working during their studying period are not getting a better job after earning their degree unless they have a better grade certificate in the third world country. This scenario may not present in the United States or others developed country economy, but the developing countries scenario is mostly just like that.

Moreover, if we can say naively about developed countries, it is also a fact sometimes. Present job markets are much competitive compare to the past. Students having better certificates certainly tell us having a better preparation too. To get a civil service or multinational co. job, all are always competitive all ages too. A better certificate let me help to pass the threshold easily where a worse grade must not help me right there. Of course, a leadership quality may help a student much. However as this quality is not shown on many students so that I like to avoid to cite here as well. Leadership generally is not a learning process rather it is a born quality.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university professors

Hi, your essay is not too bad, but I think your organization could have been better. You seem to have a lot of repetition and it is difficult to see your main points. You seem to have concentrated mostly on the cons of working without discussing many of the pros. You have quite a few sentences that were unclear or confusing to me, though you do have some interesting thoughts and I think you have addressed the prompt correctly. Overall, I would rate this a 2.5 out of 5.

Dear Sir,
Your helping is much appreciable and worthwhile as well.

However, I am a little bit of confusing over there:
Please see–10 and 11 lines.

Hard working and later earning( both side two words)— are not they parallel?

Their studying–don’t we need a gerund after possessive pronoun?

Moreover, I learned a lot right there too. Like, now I am using “Moreover” as an additional information not for transitional point, am I?

Thank you indeed.

Yes, I am desperate to learn correct English writing with style,punctuation and grammar, so far.