Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

ielts

#1

Definition of the word intelligence has been a timeless great controversy. This essay somewhat disagrees that success is the best measure for intelligence. Firstly, some intelligent people are not successful in their life and secondly, success is not always a criterion for pricing intelligence.
Many unlucky people have no opportunity to show their talents, so success ignores them. Perhaps they were born in the wrong time or the wrong place or and their opinions were not admitted or their abilities were not accepted. Galileo Galilei is a prime example whose opinions allegedly were extremely ridiculous and were not recognized by the public in the past. In modern society, a Vietnamese engineer called Dr.Phuong is a pragmatic example, his practical inventions were constrained by a lack of investigation.
Success is not a sufficiently reliable mark by which intelligence can be measured. Some people take advantage of holes in the legal system and use money as a tool to get aims. For instance, in the old regime, especially Asian countries, people from high social rank were considered successful humans. But the dark side of it, they have abused their role of the political system to devastate other’s position, burned tons of money to get promoted and achieved their political ambition at any price.
In conclusion, many people do not have accessibility to success and success is not the ruler of measurement for intelligence.


#2

Hi, sorry for the delay, I will try to get to this tonight!


#3

Hi Phu Nguyen, welcome to the forum. Your English is very good, but I don’t think this essay was structured in the correct way to address this prompt. Your essay also needs to address the “intelligence can be measured in other ways” part of the prompt. Therefore, I suggest your first paragraph should cover “success is not the best measure for intelligence” and your second paragraph should cover “these are better ways to measure intelligence” Also be sure to include transitions to begin your paragraphs as well as within each paragraph. Here are some additional comments: