Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that im

[color=darkblue]Hi every member, I am new here and I will be grateful if a teacher can assess my first essay.

[color=olive]Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles.
Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

There in no doubt that our minds work hard and we put high stress on them when we do any operation or make an effort. There is an continued debate regarding this topic, some people prefer doing valuable and precise works, others like exploiting their time by taking a rest.

To tell the truth, the comfort is highly needed, and many scientists have found many problems individuals might develop if they exaggerate in the work and eliminate from relaxing, as we all know that certain diseases they might catch, for instance, they will get chronic stress as well as miserable feeling toward the life, and they will be obsessive in every step they take.

I think even the electronic devices require us to turn them off for a time, so what about our creative minds that think a long the day? really it is unfair to continue in surfacing a book or solving a puzzle that needs an specific mood with a remarkable focus.

On the other hand, some people argue that taking a rest is not vital in this competitive world, in which people compete far more than before. For that exploiting every moment in the person‘s daily life is very considered for their belief of the competition.

Undoubtedly, many experts allocate an considerable amount of time reading or doing things that can able them to succeed and secure a pleasure life. They believe that rest means laziness and dormancy which do not have a profit to the person, besides these can make a person weak and have no self confidence, more over the person probably might expose to many troubles and embarrassment situations that can make him unable to deal wisely with them.

To sum up, I completely agree that the person must take a rest in his free time in order to compensate the work he or she has achieved and erase life burden.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does ‘monotreme’ mean?

I am new here and I will be grateful if a teacher can assess my first essay.

There in no doubt that our minds work hard and we put high stress on them when we do any operation or make an effort. There is a continued debate regarding this topic BECAUSE some people prefer doing valuable and precise works, WHILST others like exploiting their time by taking a rest.

To tell the truth, the comfort is highly needed, and many scientists have found many problems THAT individuals might develop if they /exaggerate in/CONCENTRATE SOLELY ON/ the work and eliminate THEMSELVES from relaxing(.) As we all know(,) THERE ARE certain diseases they might catch, for instance, they will get chronic stress as well as A miserable feeling toward the life, and they will be obsessive in every step they take.

I think even the electronic devices require us to turn them off for a time, so what about our creative minds that think a long the dayALL DAY LONG? Really it is unfair to continue in surfacing STUDYING a book or solving a puzzle that needs a specific mood(,) with /a remarkable focus/GREAT CONCENTRATION/.

On the other hand, some people argue that taking a rest is not /vital/AT ALL NECESSARY/(,) EVEN in this competitive world, in which people compete far more than before. For that exploiting every moment in the person‘s daily life is very considered for their belief of the competition.

Undoubtedly, many experts allocate a considerable amount of time reading or doing things that can ENable them to succeed and secure a pleasurABLE life. They believe that rest means laziness and dormancy(,) which do not BRING a profit to the person(.) Besides, these THINGS can make a person weak and have no self confidence, (moreover) the person probably might BECOME exposeD to many troubles and embarrassING situations that can make him unable to deal wisely with them.

To sum up, I completely agree that the person must take a rest in his free time in order to compensate the work he or she has achieved and erase lifeS burden.
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Good morning Iraqman. As a first essay, this was excellent. Keep practising as often as possible.

Kitos… 7.5/10