Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable informat

[Lilly1234]

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which views do you agree with?
The Internet is information source and communication tool for people. It is clear and an acceptable fact for all of us. I should note that it has its negative and positive sides that we could face. In this context, the information that is searched could be valuable and vice versa. Taking into account my positive view on the Internet, I think that it provides people with a lot of valuable information.
To begin with, the Internet is a place or tool where people can find every kind of information. People just need to google the topic that they want to get information about. After this stage, a lot of links will be available for the use of the demander. Of course, choosing correct source of information among these links is also important, but it is subject to another discussion. In addition, it is possible to search information in electronic libraries and encyclopedias also.
Furthermore, people can get information in the Internet in lively or online format. As in real life, there are a lot of groups, forums, about different topics. People with the same interest are the members of these groups and most of them are experts of specific topics that are the names of groups. You can find valuable and relevant information in these groups and forums by asking questions. For example, you need the help of lawyer, doctor and so on. You can find an appropriate group or forum and ask your questions about specific issues that are interesting for you and get answers to your questions.
In summary, the internet is a part of our daily lives and most of people use the Internet as a valuable source of information in modern world. They can get it by searching or asking from relevant groups and forums.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History

[Luschen]

Hi, your writing is pretty good in this essay, but I think your introduction could be better. I think using more detailed and personal examples would help your writing. You don’t have that many grammatical errors, but many of your sentences sound a little stilted or unnatural. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

@Lilly1234

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which views do you agree with?

The Internet is [both an] information source and communication tool for people. It[This] is clear and an acceptable fact for all of us. {I am not sure why you included this sentence - also what is “an acceptable fact”?} I should note that it has its negative and positive sides that we could face.{“that we could face” sounds a little odd here} In this context, the information that is searched could be valuable and vice versa. Taking into account my positive view on the Internet, I think that it provides people with a lot of valuable information.{this thesis is clear, but sounds pretty stilted}

Maybe your introduction could be “The Internet is both an information source and communication tool for people in today’s modern society. Such a powerful tool can of course be used unwisely, so the wealth of information found online can sometimes have detrimental consequences. Nevertheless, I have a positive view of the Internet, as its ability to provide us easy information access and allow us to interact with online experts make it a valuable advance.”

To begin with, the Internet is a place or tool where people can find every kind of information. People just need to google the topic that they want to get information about. After this stage, a lot of links will be available for the use of the demander. {“the demander” sounds a little odd here} Of course, choosing [the] correct source of information among these links is also important, but it [this] is subject to another discussion. {I probably wouldn’t include phrases like this} In addition, it is possible to search information in electronic libraries and encyclopedias also.{try to integrate this better into the paragraph} {adding some more specific and personal details would help this paragraph a lot}
Furthermore, people can get information in{“from” is better here} the Internet in lively or online format. {what is a “lively format”? As in real life, there are a lot of groups [and] forums, about different topics. People with the same interest are the members of these groups and most of them are experts of [in] specific topics that are the names[focus] of [these] groups. You can find valuable and relevant information in these groups and forums by asking questions. For example, [if] you need the help of lawyer, doctor and so on[, y]ou can find an appropriate group or forum and ask your questions about specific issues that are interesting for you and get answers to your questions.
In summary, the internet is a part of our daily lives and most of people use the Internet as a valuable source of information in [the] modern world. They can get it[knowledge] by searching or asking from relevant groups and forums.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History