Should young children learn music and art

Please correct this essay, thank you so much! (:slight_smile:)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (age five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

I agree that all younger school children should be required to study art and music at elementary school. 'I’ve read that young children who study art and music in grade school do better in their other studies. That argument aside, we should study art and music for its sake alone. We should study art and music to learn more about ourselves, our culture, and our world.

Both art and music feed children’s imaginations and help them express themselves. There’s a reason our ancestors in caves drew on the walls and made music with drums. Wanting to express ourselves is natural. It gives us an avenue for our emotions and fears. It may not always be music other people want to hear or art others will appreciate, but the activity itself is enjoyable. It shouldn’t matter if the end result isn’t perfect. In the process, we learn what we like and dislike.

Studying art and music means more than drawing or playing an instrument. Children usually go to art galleries and concerts, too. By studying the pictures on the museums’ walls or by reading the program notes at a recital, students will learn what society has decided is worthy of praise. They learn what is important in their own culture.

Children may also learn about other cultures by looking at art and listening to music from other countries. When they do that, they’ll see similarities and differences with their own. They’ll learn about what is important in other societies. Students will also learn how the art and music of other cultures affect our own. Also, learning other cultures and diverse ways of life promotes understanding and tolerance of others.

By studying art and music at elementary school, younger school children begin to understand themselves as well as their own culture and other cultures. What could have more value than that?

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and his student

Please correct this essay, thank you so much! (:slight_smile:)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (age five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.

I agree that all younger school children should be required to study art and music at elementary school. 'I’ve read that young children who study art and music in grade school do better in their other studies. That argument aside, we should study art and music for THEIR sake alone. We should study art and music to learn more about ourselves, our culture, and our world.

Both art and music feed children’s imaginations and help them express themselves. There’s a reason WHY our ancestors in caves drew on the walls and made music with drums. Wanting to express ourselves is natural. It gives us an avenue for our emotions and fears. It may not always be music other people want to hear or art others will appreciate, but the activity itself is enjoyable. It shouldn’t matter if the end result isn’t perfect. In the process, we learn what we like and dislike.

Studying art and music means more than drawing or playing an instrument. Children usually go to art galleries and concerts, too. By studying the pictures on the museums’ walls or by reading the program notes at a recital, students will learn what society has decided is worthy of praise. They learn what is important in their own culture.

Children may also learn about other cultures by looking at art and listening to music from other countries. When they do that, they’ll see similarities and differences with their own. They’ll learn about what is important in other societies. Students will also learn how the art and music of other cultures affect our own. Also, learning other cultures and diverse ways of life promotes understanding and tolerance of others.

By studying art and music at elementary school, younger school children begin to understand themselves as well as their own culture and other cultures. What could have more value than that?
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Such a great essay Penglizhibin. It would be mean of me not to give you maximum marks. Thank you.

Kitos. 10/10 *****

Wow, Penglizhibin - very nice work.
Your English is pretty darn good, and your essay is logical and flows well.

One small bit of advice:
Your essay is strictly about children ages 5-10. So, when you write “We should study art,” etc., the word “we” must refer to the children. Unless you are a child of that age, and so is your audience, avoid using such terms.

This, in general, is the problem with using the words “we” or “us” is expository essays. Simply refer to your subject instead:
Children
Young students
Young children, etc. - You can always find a way to refer to your real subject, which in this case, is kids 5-10.

Phil
www.300easywords.com

Thank you

very nice

I just wonder if it’s a sample answer? I remember I read it before :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: It is worth studying~