Should students live in another country for a short time. Please rate.

Dear Luschen,
Please help me with this essay. My weekness is some awkward expressions. Please help and I can see how I am making the improvement. Actually I posted this a few days ago but maybe I posted at the wrong place again or the Internet problems prevented me to post this essay. Thank you so much!

Questions: As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn its language and culture. Do you agree or disagree?

Answer: In the across-cultural setting of modern life, and the support of easy means of transportation, the trend in which students are studying in other countries has become popular. Many people claim that it is of vital importance for students to go abroad in a short period of time, living there while learning the host country’s language and traditions. In my opinion, it is a positive tendency in educational requirements.

To begin with, studying another language seems to be a demand in the students’ future jobs. In the globalization landscape of market these days, employers have been recruiting for their companies’ vacancies someone who is not only professional but also speaking bilingual in order to cope with their business expand worldwide. Europe is a good example in this kind of course when the universities in this continent incorporate language studying into academic performance, and this enables their graduates to have the opportunity to get access to a wider choice when it comes to working, making their choice of career overseas easier ever.

In addition to benefits that students gain when participating language courses, studying for a while in another country is a valuable time of learning different cultures. Travel makes a young man, so gaining know-how about other customs, traditions, and interacting directly with different cultures helps students widen their horizon. This also can make them become more understanding, more responsible, especially in the case of students from developed counties to the developing host ones. In the cultural learning process, they learn to respect cultural heritages, and appreciate the hand-down values in different cultures.

However, someone may argue that such inadequate academic learning is a wasting of time and money as students have to travel, and what they actually conceive is just a fun experience which is not beneficial their future career. They may also point out that their academic performance can be failed due to the cultural shock and homesick, which are familiar with studying and living abroad. Nevertheless, they forget that students will be more self-reliant because this experience will sharpen their body and their mind when they live totally independently.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the time students live in other countries for their language and cultural learning bring many advantages to students regardless of some drawbacks. If students can be given this priceless chance and under a good supervise from their universities, this type of study will enhance students’ academic ability.
Apropos of this statement, I am in consummate discord with it. Private institutions should not be banned. Because it will mean, abating the choices made by parents for the future of their children. They may not get best education and quality of studies in Government institution. Hence, life for bright students may be downsized. Furthermore, consequences could be devastating for the future of individual and perhaps for the whole nation.
On the other hand, there will be huge positive impact on the way our Government Schools work if the private institutions are banned. Once government institutions realize their problems and shortcomings, quality of teaching and code of practice will improve. As the code for conduct improve in the Government institutions, their way of teaching will be more pragmatic. Also there will definitely be profits from schools which will go in Government Treasury once the private institutes are banned; hence the school conditions will improve. These schools will then retrospect the multi-religious culture and will teach students to be respectful towards other religions. Parents will definitely benefit from this decision by paying less tuition fees in Government institutions as compared to private institutions. Furthermore, there will be sense of equality between students and there will be exhibit of nor rich or poor in schools.
Absence of private schools may become a source of anguish in middle and high income people. It may be misunderstood as a loss in freedom of choice as Government has taken the right of choice form parents for their children education.
Some of the children who need special education or attention need private education. For instance, people with disabilities will be cared more in private institutions for their needs as compared with Government Institutions. Similarly, blind or deaf students also need special attention and care which in my option is impossible to provide in Government institutions.
In nutshell, I would like to assert the importance of private institutes in our community. Private institutions cater needs for all type of students. They always change their teaching styles and skills in accord to the demand of students, providing them with high standards of education. So I strongly feel that private education should not be banned.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why is the student talking to the advisor?

Hi Rose, I think you are correct in your self-analysis. Your content is excellent, as is your format. Your only problem is your less than natural words and phrases, along with some problems in preposition use. Overall, I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.

The first thing of my day is to check email. Thank you so much. You are great!

Yes, the other is something else. Sorry for coppy and paste without carefully check.