Should parents make decisions for their teenage children?

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
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Hi, Kitos. Could you look at my masterpiece? Thanks in advance

The issue whether parents should interfere into children’s affair or allow them to make decisions independently may arouse hot debate in my society. Although most people assert children must be under strict and continuous control, I think opposite. In my opinion, parents should trust their children more, if they want them to grow up worthy people, because human beings are prone to learn from their own mistakes.

First of all, parents should prompt their children to make decisions, because they cannot be near them all their lives. One day a child will have to leave home and live in different circumstances. For example, he may go to other city for study or work, to get married etc. Even in everyday life he may be encounter with the situation, where he should make a decision quickly and independently; he may not have time to consult with anybody. Therefore, parents should allow him to start from insignificant decisions when he is a teenager, in order to prepare him for difficult ones that he will meet in his future life.

Second, parents should rely on their children, if they want them to make right decisions. How can adults and their child know whether he is able to make the right decision, if they haven’t ever given him a chance? They can explain to him the situation comprehensively, but they should leave the right to make a decision to the child. If he makes a wrong decision, he will have to think more next time. If parents always control their child and are afraid of making mistakes by him, he will lose self-confidence and fail in everything he starts. Just imagine how a baby will learn to walk, if he has never fallen down.

In addition, a child can have different interests or opinion regarding the issue that is being discussed. If parents ignore his attitude to the issue, he will ignore their decision. Even if he obeys their demand, he will not be happy, and will give it up sooner or later. For example, my friend obeyed her father, and went to the Azerbaijan Medical University, because he wanted her to continue their family tradition. However, she postponed her education in the third year under the pretence of marriage, and hasn’t returned to the university by now.

All in all, parents should not strictly control their children; they should give them a chance to mature, grow up and be ready for the real life.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students (2)

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Hi, Kitos. Could you look at my masterpiece? Thanks in advance

The issue AS TO whether parents should interfere into children’s affaiRS or allow them to make decisions independently may arouse hot debate in my society. Although most people assert children must be under strict and continuous control, I think THE opposite. In my opinion, parents should trust their children more, if they want them to grow up worthy people, because human beings are prone to learn from their own mistakes.

First of all, parents should prompt their children to make decisions, because they cannot be near them all their lives. One day a child will have to leave home and live in different circumstances. For example, he may go to ANother city for study or work, to get married etc. Even in everyday life he may be encounter with the situationS where he /should/MUST/ make a decision quickly and independently; he may not have time to consult with anybody. Therefore, parents should allow him to start from insignificant decisions when he is a teenager, in order to prepare him for difficult ones that he will meet in his future life.

Second, parents should rely on their children if they want them to make right decisions. How can adults and their child know whether he is able to make the right decision, if they haven’t ever given him a chance? They can explain to him the situation comprehensively, but they should leave the right to make a decision to the child. If he makes a wrong decision, he will have to think more next time. If parents always control their child and are afraid of HIM making mistakes by him, he will lose self-confidence and fail in everything he starts. Just imagine how a baby will learn to walk, if he has never fallen down.

In addition, a child can have different interests or opinionS regarding the issue that is being discussed. If parents ignore his attitude to the issue, he will ignore their decision. Even if he obeys their demand, he will not be happy, and will give it up sooner or later. For example, my friend obeyed her father, and went to the Azerbaijan Medical University, because he wanted her to continue their family tradition. However, she postponed her education in the third year under the pretence of marriage, and hasn’t returned to the university. by now.

All in all, parents should not strictly control their children; they should give them a chance to mature, grow up and be ready for the real life.
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Well written, and a good example Remula.

Kitos. 8.5/10

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Thanks, Kitos

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Despite what many parents say, I find parents making decisions for their children everytime is ridiculous regardless of anyone’s age. Because nobody is perfect and there are abusive parents who dehumanize their children. Our modern technologies, medicine, entertainment, and art did not entirely come from overcontrolling parents that controlled what their children did. Unpredictable and uncontrollable chaos allows innovative ideas to emerge. Those innovative ideas are what the special people used for inventing things that societies use today. Without inventing anything, humans would have been probably extinct from not having cooked food, weapons, and shelter to protect themselves against wild predators. Smart parents allow their children freedom to make decisions and think outside the box because they are not easily manipulated by emotions that keep them weak-minded.

Traditions can be useful for bringing stability into a family. But caring about reason and rationality more than tradition is a sign of above average intelligence. Many people with above average intelligence care about reason and rationality more than tradition. That is why they question authority, society, people, and things in general. Because they do not behave like easily manipulated puppets entirely. Smart parents care about reason and rationality more than tradition.

Languages sometimes evolved because of the people who had above average intelligence who cared about reason more than tradition. They were the ones who allowed change to happen instead of allowing traditional ways to prevent languages from evolving in societies for example. Smart parents let societies change by allowing children to improve them by making their own decisions.

Without chaos, freedom, and putting reason/rationality before tradition, we would be living in caves with no clothes, medicine, books, weapons, internet, vehicles, smartphones, computers, etc. We would be living like primitive animals without much change, reason, rationality, innovative ideas, etc.

A parent always denying their child the opportunity to make their own decision is an insult to that child’s intelligence. I consider overcontrolling parents who underestimate their children to be abusive bullies.

There were smart adults that I have known who decided to make their own decisions at young ages. They own businesses and/or use their creative freedom to make things. They didn’t let their parents control them so much. They did their own things and became successful adults as a result.

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