Thank you so much for giving me helpful advice! 
Lately, the question: “Should children learn foreign language as soon as they start school?” is hotly discussed. Many parents advocate their children to learn foreign language as soon as they start school. In contrary, some disapprove strongly this idea. As a child who had started learning foreign language at 6, I definitely agree with this statement because of those following reasons.
First of all, children in elementary school possess great possibilities when it comes to studying foreign language. This means they are able to soak up with new skills much faster than adults. According to Times Magazine, scientists at Stanford university declared that children at elementary school level are more open-minded than these in later age. They are more zealous in learning about the beautiful world around them, more interested in understanding another cultures. This creates positive, enthusiastic attitude which is the essential key to success in learning progress.
Second, learning foreign language can create different perspectives in thinking for children. For children who grow in small area such as some solitary suburban, their view of the world are much narrower than those of bilingual person. Because learning another language is not just about strict grammar rule, a new way to speak but also a diverse culture, historical and social association of the country.
However, many parents oppose this statement. They said their children can't even speak native language articulately, so how do their children learn foreign language? They think learning foreign language as soon as their children start school is too hasty, and can cause major confusion in using language to children. This idea has some merits on the surface. However, learning foreign language not only improve children's linguistic scope but also hone their native language. Because while learning the new language, children tend to compare it with their own language. By doing this, children think of the similarities and differences between their native language and the foreign language which leads to a deeper study of their own language.
In conclusions, I definitely recommend that children should learn foreign language as soon as they start school because of their innate possibilities in learning new language, their chances to have different thinking perspective, and the ability to improve their native language skill.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an adviser in the university’s work-study program
Hi, I thought this was a very good essay. Extremely well organized with outstanding examples. I am torn between a 4 and a 4.5, but you have a lot of verb tense and article errors that make a lot of your essay sound quite unnatural, so I will have to go with the 4 out of 5.
quote=“Huongmeow”]Thank you so much for giving me helpful advice!
Lately, the question: “Should children learn foreign language as soon as they start school?” {if this is the prompt, try not to copy it word for word} [has been] is hotly discussed. Many parents advocate their children to learn {learning sounds better} foreign language as soon as they start school. In contra[st], some disapprove strongly [of] this idea. {or “strongly disapprove this idea”} As a child who had started learning [a] foreign language at 6[age six], I definitely agree with this statement because of those following reasons. {try to include a very brief summary of your reasons in the thesis}
First of all, children in elementary school possess great possibilities when it comes to studying foreign language. This means they are able to soak up [s]with[/s] new skills much faster than adults. According to Time[s]s [/s]Magazine, scientists at Stanford university{cap} declared that children at elementary school level are more open-minded than th[o]se in later age [groups]. They are more zealous in learning about the beautiful world around them, more interested in understanding [s]an[/s]other cultures. This creates [a] positive, enthusiastic attitude which is the essential key to success in learning progress.
Second, learning [a] foreign language can create different perspectives in thinking for children. For children who grow [up] in [a] small area such as some solitary suburb[s]an[/s], their view of the world [s]are[/s][is] much narrower than those of [a] bilingual person. Because learning another language is not just about strict grammar rule[s ], a new way to speak but also a diverse culture, historical and social association of the country. {this is not a complete sentence and so is a bit unclear}
However, many parents oppose this statement.{try to mention the contents "statement" in your topic sentence} They sa[y] their children can't{try not to use contractions} even speak [their] native language articulately, so how [s]do[/s][can] their children learn [a] foreign language? They think learning [a] foreign language as soon as their children start school is too hasty, and can cause major confusion in using language to children. This idea has some merits on the surface. However, learning [a] foreign language not only improve[s ] children's linguistic scope but also hone[s ] their native language. Because while learning the new language, children tend to compare it with their own language. By doing this, children think of the similarities and differences between their native language and the foreign language which leads to a deeper study of their own language.
In conclusion[s]s[/s], I definitely recommend that children should learn [a] foreign language as soon as they start school because of their innate possibilities in learning new language, their chances to have [a] different thinking perspective, and the ability to improve their native language skill.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university student and an adviser in the university’s work-study program
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