Hi everybody
Well, I’m French and I would like to improve my English
I saw a job advertisement and I decided to apply for this job, it’s a position in an American company.
I have to write a resume and an application letter, that’s what I did but I would like to know if there are mistakes on these 2 documents and if all phrases are understandable.
Is there someone on this forum who would be ok to read my resume and my application Letter just to give me his point of view ?
Thanks a lot
Christophe
Hi Christophe,
Yes, send your text in and we’ll have a look at it.
Alan
Hi Alan,
thanks a lot for you answer
so i send you my application letter :
[i]Dear Mrs. X,
I was very interested in your advertisement for a software developer position in the XXX Company. I have been seeking an opportunity as this one and I think my skills and your requirements may be a good match.
Over the past five years, I have been responsible with my team for the maintenance of two then six applications integrated in the Order and Delivery process. I was in direct relation with users and the supervisors of these applications on the production environment.
Then, I had the opportunity to discover a new functional field : After-Sales Support and its Customer Relationship Management. I had to coordinate several teams and I was responsible for the Exploitability and Load testing process with the objective to deliver an efficient and exploitable application. Noticing that six releases of this application (SPACE) were installed on the production environment without any malfunction; at this moment, this application is used by two thousand people.
Besides, I have worked in close relation with the functional team in order to suggest some technical solutions adapted to their functional needs. At this moment I’m also working on the conception and the development of a C software soon in charge of dispatching messages between SPACE and two other applications.
I think I am the appropriate candidate for this position because I’m very interested in software development; I’m flexible and extremely motivated to discover a new functional field and to live a work experience overseas.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you in order to discuss with you and give you further details about my motivation.
Yours Sincerely,
[/i]
if you see something incorrect, don’t hesitate 
Bye
Christophe
Hi Christophe,
I have made some changes in capital letters:
Dear Mrs. X,
I was very interested in your advertisement for a software developer position in the XXX Company. (I have been seeking an opportunity as this one) I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS and I think my skills and your requirements may be a good match.
Over the past five years, I have been responsible with my team for the maintenance FIRST of two AND then six applications integrated in the Order and Delivery process. I was in direct (relation) CONTACT with users and the supervisors of these applications on the production environment. (IN THE PRODUCTION PROCESS? not quite clear what this means).
(Then, I had the opportunity to discover a new functional field) LATER I HAD THE CHANCE OF GAINING EXPERIENCE IN A NEW FIELD OF OPERATION: After-Sales Support and its Customer Relationship Management. I had to coordinate several teams and I was responsible for the Exploitability and Load testing process (with the objective to deliver)WITH THE OBJECT OF DELIVERING an efficient and exploitable application. (Noticing) IT IS WORTH NOTING that six releases of this application (SPACE) were installed on the production environment without any malfunction; (at this moment, this application is used) THIS APPLICATION IS CURRENTLY USED by two thousand people.
(Besides) APART FROM THE ABOVE I have worked (in close relation) CLOSELY with the functional team in order to (suggest) RECOMMEND ANY (some) technical solutions adapted to their functional needs. At this moment I’m also working on the conception and the development of a C software soon (in charge of) CAPABLE OF dispatching messages between SPACE and two other applications.
I think I am (the appropriate) A SUITABLE candidate for this position because I’m very interested in software development; I’m flexible and extremely motivated to discover a new (functional field) FIELD OF OPERATION and to live aND work (experience)overseas.
(I’m looking forward) I LOOK FORWARD to hearing from YOU (you in order to discuss) SO THAT I MAY DISCUSS MY APPLICATION with you and ALSO give you further details about my motivation.
(Yours Sincerely), Yours sincerely,
I hope this will be of use.
Alan
Thanks a lot Alan
Just 3 questions :
1/ I think you wanted to write “WITH THE OBjECT” and not “WITH THE OBECT”, isn’t it ?
2/“RECOMMEND ANY” : my teacher told me that “Any” is only used in a interrogative or a negative phrase, so i’m suprised. Could you explain me why do you use “any” rather than "some " in this phrase ?
3/ “I LOOK FORWARD to hearing from SO THAT I MAY DISCUSS MY APPLICATION with you …” . it’s not “to hearing from you so that …” ?
Thanks a lot again
Christophe
Hi Christophe,
If you look again at my first corrected version, you will see that I have made the changes you highlighted in points 1 and 3.
On the matter of any I suggested that you use it here because you can also use it to indicate the idea of possibllity. You can say: I would like to know if you have any comments to make on this essay. As I understood from your letter, you were giving the suggestion that the technical solutions might or might not be needed and that’s why I offered any in place of some.
Alan
Thanks a lot Alan for you help
Bye
Christophe
Hi,
after the application letter, my resume …
if you can have a look just just to tell me if there are mistakes …
thank you
Christophe
[i]Professional Profile
• Three-year-experience in the CRM (After-Sales Support 1013 and 1015)
• Four-year-experience on Unix/Oracle and two-year-experience in database administration (DB2/MVS)
• Team manager of 6 people
• Knowledge on C programming
• Willing to travel
Technical skills
• …
Work History
Since April 2003
Technical team manager on a CRM project :
• Planned and organized load testing and performance tuning
• Responsible for the exploitability process from conception to exploitation
• Wrote technical solutions in relation with functional team
• Team manager of 6 people
From November 2001 to April 2003
Team manager responsible for users support and applications maintenance :
• Managed team of 6 through users support and maintenance of 6 applications integrated in the “Order to delivery” process
• Was responsible for a high level of users satisfaction
From October 1998 to November 2001
DB2 Database Administrator (MVS) :
• Supervised and administrated 10 production instances
• Responsible for installation of new production instances
From January 1997 to October 1998
Applications Supervisor:
• Supervised applications in production
• Corrected mistakes in production
• Improved and implemented solutions
From May to Juliet 1996
Application developer trainee on Windows :
• Developed software in C
• Defined and produced HTML help files
Education
Courses :
October 2002 EAI Introduction
December 2001 Oracle Introduction
September 2000 Project Management
February 2000 MVS System and Tuning
1998 – 2001 DB2 full courses
Qualifications :
1996 Postgraduate degree in biological and computing science - Paris VI University (France)
1994 Master of Science Degree in Cellular Biology – Rouen University (France)
Miscellaneous
Sport : Table Tennis Championship, Soccer and Golf
Hobbies : Playing the guitar and lesson Music
[/i]