praxis 1 writing prompt: "Censorship of song lyrics,television shows,offensi

[Zanib_Hassan]

“Censorship of song lyrics, television shows, and offensive speech is necessary in order to protect the rights of all members of society.”

Our society is combination of different cultures, different religions, and different races. Even though, we all have different sets of traditions and values in our homes, we are united as a community. Our society has created its own culture that is we respect each other’s traditions and values, and along with that, we do not judge a person based on his looks, that makes us the people of United States. However, our society faces problems like discrimination, bullying, and violence, because of the media. Our young generation is raised by watching television and listening to music. I believe a censor of offensive song lyrics, television shows, and offensive public speech is important to for peace, friendship, and healthy citizens.

At first two years of life, a child observes and adopts the behaviors of his family. A child learns to follow the footsteps of his parents and elder siblings, so he learns about his family traditions, and he starts to respect the things that are important to his family. In each home, we all have different sets of values, for example, a child born in a Muslim family will learn to go to masjid on Fridays, and the neighbors’ child born in Christian family will learn to go to church on Sundays. Both children will grow up in one community, with different sets of believes, will share an American culture. They will watch American television shows and listen to American songs. They will share a similar education system and they both are future of America.

The government should take censorship of offensive speech carefully because any public speaker represents the society as whole. Many people argue that censorship of speech interferes with speaker’s freedom of speech; however, if an offensive speech increases hate and violence in a community, it should not be allowed. The freedom speech does not mean to hurt others. The media should respect the values and traditions of all the different cultures, religions, and races, the censorship of offensive media shows is important for children to become peaceful friends.

Media is responsible for creating negative image in children’s mind and because that many children face discrimination and bullying in school, as consequences, the victims of discrimination and bullies commit suicide. There are children who imitate the violent behaviors that are learned from cartoons, movies, and television shows. For example, in Colorado a young man imitated a character from a Batman movie and killed many innocent people. There are so many cases of sexual harassment due to bad music videos. Media should take the responsibility to eliminate offensive shows and offensive lyrics of music.

The government and media need censorship to protect our next generation from discrimination, violence, and bullying. Media plays an important role in raising our young generation, so they should take this responsibility carefully.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student need money?

[Luschen]

Hi Zanib, I thought your writing was pretty good. You have some good reasons, but your first paragraph was not really tied back to the thesis. You never really talked about the negative effects unregulated media can have on these children. Your writing was generally very clear and understandable, though you did have some errors here and there. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

@Zanib_Hassan

“Censorship of song lyrics, television shows, and offensive speech is necessary in order to protect the rights of all members of society.”

[In the US, ] Our society is [a] combination of different cultures, different religions, and different races. Even though,{no comma} we all have different sets of traditions and values in our homes, we are united as a community. Our society has created its own culture that is [insists] we respect each other’s traditions and values, and along with that, we do not judge a person based on his looks,{semicolon} that makes us the people of United States. However, our[this] society faces problems like discrimination, bullying, and violence, because of the media. Our young generation is raised by watching television and listening to music. I believe a censor[ing] of offensive song lyrics, television shows, and offensive public speech is important to for peace, friendship, and healthy citizens.

{begin with a transition} At[During his] first two years of life, a child observes and adopts the behaviors of his family. A child learns to follow the footsteps of his parents and elder siblings, so he learns about his family traditions, and he starts to respect the things that are important to his family. In each home, we all have different sets of values,{new sentence} for example, a child born in a Muslim family will learn to go to masjid on Fridays, and the neighbors’ child born in [a] Christian family will learn to go to church on Sundays. Both children will grow up in one community, with different sets of belie[fs , but] will share an [common] American culture. They will watch American television shows and listen to American songs. They will share a similar education system and they both are [the] future of America. {this paragraph does not really give a reason supporting your thesis - you have to tie every idea back to the thesis}

{add a transition here} The government should take censorship of offensive speech carefully because any public speaker represents the society as whole. Many people argue that censorship of speech interferes with [the] speaker’s freedom of speech; however, if an offensive speech increases hate and violence in a community, it should not be allowed. The freedom [of] speech does not mean [the freedom] to hurt others. The media should respect the values and traditions of all the different cultures, religions, and races, [so] the censorship of offensive media shows is important for children to become peaceful friends.

{add a transition here} Media is responsible for creating negative image[s ] in children’s mind[s ] and because [of] that many children face discrimination and bullying in school, [and] as [a] consequences, the victims of discrimination and bullies [sometimes] commit suicide. There are children who imitate the violent behaviors that are learned from cartoons, movies, and television shows. For example, in Colorado a young man imitated a character from a Batman movie and killed many innocent people. There are so many cases of sexual harassment due to bad music videos. {this sound a little unconvincing - maybe “… harassment encouraged by chauvinistic music videos”} Media should take the responsibility to eliminate offensive shows and offensive lyrics of music.

The government and media need censorship to protect our next generation from discrimination, violence, and bullying. Media plays an important role in raising our young generation, so they should take this responsibility carefully.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student need money?

[Zanib_Hassan]

Hi Luschen,

thank you so much I really appreciate your feedback