please revise my essay

Technology has made our live easier, do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, technology promotes our lives in the high speed and brings us a lot of facilities and comfort. But, these advances in human beings’ lives are associated with some obstacles which are not deliberate attempts. Because of this, while some people think that modern technologies bring us vast benefits, the others do not accept it and declare that they are disturbing our life. In my view every side has its own merits which should be considered when making a decision about the effect of technology in our lifestyle.
In the first place, despite any welfare which is existed in modern days, huge amounts of pollution are created in the earth. Technology in transportation, for example, is discharged a great deal of carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide which are hazardous for people. Last year, statistics which were published in a health magazine in my country, showed that more than 800 people die in each day in Tehran as a result of breath problems. Moreover, nuclear power plants which produce electricity, remain a numerous amounts of nuclear wastes which will be not dissolved in the next thousands years. Thus, Technology, however, can harm our lives.
On the other hand, progress in health field, encourage people to live longer than before. In past, people usually died because of every simple illness. But now, doctors can heal even individuals who deal with cancer diseases. In addition, contemporary technology makes it easier to go distant places in less time. It also, brings people equipment to see every place or every people they want with the broad internet technology. These facilities increase the sense of pleasure and welfare in everybody’s life. Therefore, technology brilliantly affects our life in a positive way.
Taking everything into consideration, I believe that, the advantages of technology outweigh the disadvantages. Health care coupled with lifestyle’s welfare are prominent impacts of technology which arises in modern day’s life and play an important role on it. Finally, I hope that the future technology diminishes disadvantages and highlight the advantages more than ever.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a Drama professor

Hi, you had quite a few grammar and vocabulary errors in your essay, especially in your introduction. I found it easier to go ahead and rewrite parts of your essay to make them more grammatically correct. Please compare your writing with my revision and let me know if anything does not make sense to you.

Hi, I should thank you in advance for helping me. your comments are very good. I want you to ask if I can send you my other writings for revision.