Please review my esaay. TOEFL writing task 1

that is the (((READING))) passage

In the United States,employees typically work five days a week for eight hours each day. However, many employees want to work a four-day week and are willing to accept less pay in order to do so. A mandatory policy requiring companies to offer their employees the option of working a four-day workweek for four-fifths (80 percent) of their normal pay would benefit the economy as a whole as well as the individual companies and the employees who decided to take the option.

The shortened workweek would increase company profits because employees would feel more rested and alert, and as a result, they would make fewer costly errors in their work. Hiring more staff to ensure that the same amount of work would be accomplished would not result in additional payroll costs because four-day employees would only be paid 80 percent of the normal rate. In the end, companies would have fewer overworked and error-prone employees for the same money,which would increase company profits.

For the country as a whole, one of the primary benefits of offering this option to employees is that it would reduce unemployment rates. If many full- time employees started working fewer hours, some of their workload would have to be shifted to others. Thus, for every four employees who went on an 80 percent week, a new employee could be hired at the 80 percent rate.

Finally, the option of a four- day workweek would be better for individual employees. Employees who could afford a lower salary in exchange for more free time could improve the quality of their lives by spending the extra time with their families, pursuing private interests, or enjoying leisure activities.

and that (((( THE LISTENING)))) passage

Offering employees the option of a four- day workweek won’t affect the company profits, economic conditions or the lives of employees in the ways the reading suggests.

First, offering a four-day workweek will probably force companies to spend more, possibly a lot more. Adding new workers means putting much more money into providing training and medical benefits. Remember the costs of things like health benefits can be the same whether an employee works four days or five. And having more employees also requires more office space and more computers.These additional costs would quickly cut into company profits.

Second, with respect to overall employment, it doesn’t follow that once some employees choose a four-day work week, many more jobs will become available. Hiring new workers is costly, as I argued a moment ago. And companies have other options. They might just choose to ask their employees to work overtime to make up the difference. Worse, companies might raise expectations. They might start to expect that their four-day employees can do the same amount of work they used to do in five days. If this happens, then no additional jobs will be created and current jobs will become more unpleasant.

Finally, while a four-day workweek offers employees more free time to invest in their personal lives, it also presents some risks that could end up reducing their quality of life. Working a shorter week can decrease employees’ job stability and harm their chances for advancing their careers. Four-day employees are likely to be the first to lose their jobs during an economic downturn. They may also be passed over for promotions because companies might prefer to have five-day employees in management positions to ensure continuous coverage and consistent supervision for the entire workweek.

an((( MY ESSAY)))

In America, generally, employees work five days a week for eight hours each day. But many of them want to work just four days, and they are accepted in return for a low income, which will be 80 percent of their normal daily income. While the writer claims that reducing working days would benefit the economy for both the company and workers for three reasons, The lecture opposes the writer’s claims; in his opinion, option four-day will not affect in good ways the economic situation.

First, the author states that making employees work for four days will increase the company’s profit. In fact, some companies make their employees work for four days, and it will make them comfortable and pay more attention during the work, which leads to fewer errors and good quality the work. In addition, hiring new staff will affect positively the company’s profit rate because they will be paid only 80 percent of the normal rate. Definitely, the company would have little overwork and fewer mistakes in the work for the same money, and that would increase the company’s profit. In contrast, the lecture says that giving the employees four days to work will completely waste more money. Indeed, adding new employees means putting much more money into training and medical aid, and that is very expensive because it might be equal to the amount of work for four or five days. Moreover, having more employees also means having more offices and computers. So, all those added will negatively affect the company’s profit.

Second, the passage states that reducing the number of days worked will lower the unemployment rate. Genuinely. Some business leaders would employ new people to work if full-time employees began to work a few hours. Further, When the employees work for 80 percent of a week, that will give them a chance to hire new workers. Contrary to the passage, the lecture claims that if you provide the laborer with four days to work, that doesn’t mean they would be available to work for other people. What’s more, working four days may compel the company to ask their employers to work overtime to make a difference without hiring new people. More than that, it will make the company increase the possibility of its employees finishing five days of work in four days. Therefore, more jobs will be inaccessible and the work might be undesirable.

Finally, the writer asserts that four days of work would be better for employees themselves. If the employees could stand the low income, they could change the condition of their lives by spending more time with their families, doing their favorite hobbies, and enjoying life better.

As opposed to the writer, the professor argues that the free time the employees spend in their personal lives could lower their quality of life. Indeed, working fewer days could hurt the employees’ work stability and reduce their chances to develop their careers. On top of that, they are likely to lose their jobs during the economic deterioration. Additionally, working four days perhaps makes them ineligible for some companies that prefer five days of work.

Both the writer and the professor hold conflicting views about the hours of work in the United States.

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In America, workers typically work five days a week for eight hours a day. However, many of them want to work only four days, and they are accepted in exchange for a low income that is 80 percent of their normal daily income. While the author claims that a reduction in work hours would be beneficial to both the company and the workers for three reasons, the paper contradicts the author’s claims; in his opinion, the four-day option will not have a positive impact on the economic situation.

First, the author claims that the company’s profit will increase if employees work for four days. In fact, some companies make their employees work for four days, which makes them feel more comfortable and attentive during work, resulting in fewer mistakes and good quality of work. Moreover, hiring new employees has a positive impact on the company’s profit rate, as they are paid only 80% of the normal wage. The company would definitely have less overtime and fewer mistakes in the work for the same money, and this would increase the company’s profit. In contrast, the lecture says that making employees work four days would be completely pointless. In fact, hiring new employees means putting a lot more money into training and medical care, and that is very expensive because it could equal the amount of work of four or five days. Having more employees also means having more offices and computers. So all this will have a negative impact on the company’s profit.

Secondly, the text says that reducing the number of working days will reduce the unemployment rate. This is true. Some business owners would hire new employees if full-time employees started working fewer hours. If employees work 80 percent of the week, they have the opportunity to hire new employees. Contrary to this passage, the lecture asserts that giving workers four days does not mean they would work for other people. In addition, if four work days are provided, the company may be forced to work overtime to cover costs without having to hire new employees. In addition, the company will increase the likelihood that its employees can do five workdays in four days. Therefore, more jobs will be inaccessible and the work could be undesirable.

Finally, the author claims that four workdays would be better for the workers themselves. If workers could tolerate the low income, they could change their circumstances by spending more time with their families, pursuing their favorite hobbies, and enjoying life more.

In contrast to the author, the professor argues that the free time workers spend in their personal lives could reduce their quality of life. In fact, fewer work days could affect workers’ job stability and reduce their chances of career advancement. Moreover, they risk losing their jobs if the economy deteriorates. In addition, a four-day work schedule could make them ineligible for some companies that prefer a five-day work schedule.

Both the author and the professor hold opposing views on work schedules in the United States.

sir how i can paraphrase or summarize the passage with taking the main point for every paragraph and without taking a lot of inessential details?

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Please tell me more about the types of newspaper articles and books you read, the types of podcasts you listen to, and the YouTube channels you subscribe to. That will make it much easier for me to answer your question.

sir, I am reading now from science, scientific American, and the economist. From those websites I read subjects related to the environment and human health and some only four articles every day for podcasts I am listening to TED daily radio and on youtube, I watching frequently just two channels: TST prep TOEFL and IELTS and TOEFL with java

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Mr. Torsten, I need your advice about writing and speaking templates. are they helpful for TOEFL students to get a high score

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Try to focus on what really interests you. Don’t focus on IELTS because it’s an outdated, hierarchical system that has no future. Remember that you can only learn if you enjoy what you are doing, if you are really passionate about the activities you are engaged in. Please don’t tell me that you are enthusiastic about IELTS, TOEFL, TOEIC, GRE, etc :wink:

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I wish I was. thank you for your advice sir I appertiated

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