please rate my ielts essay on 10......

TOPIC- The government is ultimately responsible for making the streets safe.stronger gun laws should be in force to protect all citizens. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Laws are the credible parts, which impart control and unity among people in a country. stronger gun-laws should be implemented in order to provide safety and security to the citizens. In a developed country, it is quite easy to buy a gun and use it by his own intention. So strict prohibition of gun use is essential and responsible, because all the people have a right to live.

The government is the prime body. who has the responsibility to protect lives of people in a country. By the introduction of these stronger gun laws ultimately, we can bring a control over citizens. Use of these weapons should be restricted only, in each country’s force or army authorities.

stronger gun laws are needed for the enhancement of safety and security of people in a country. Implementation of these laws will make the streets safer than the earlier years. Gun laws have a direct effect on the public and it will definitely turn over a new leaf.

Now a days, the number of robberies and anti-social activities is increasing in countries, specially in developed countries. Main cause of these activities reside on the use of guns and other forms of weapons. Strict implementation of gun laws will reduce the number of activities which adversely affect the normal lives of people.

On the whole, stronger gun laws are beneficial and a need of the hour. Even though guns are essential in these days as a mode of protective device or safety measure to counteract attacks from other people. Self protection is becoming a serious issue in a developed country.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why do Birds of Paradise have amazing plumages?

Hi, your grammar is quite good, but your choice of words needs a lot of work. You have some very odd sounding phrases. Your essay is also not very convincing. You need more examples and logic instead of unsupported statements. Here in the US, some people believe guns actually make the streets safer because potential thieves are afraid of their victims defending themselves. I don’t believe this myself, but your essay will not convince those who do. Looking at these IELTS ratings:IELTS Scoring Pattern
I would rate this essay a 6: » 6 Competent user
Has generally effective command of the language despite some inaccuracies, in appropriacies and misunderstandings. Can use and understand fairly complex language, particularly in familiar situations.

thank you Luschen…i’ll try to correct my mistakes…