Please rate my essay

Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer?

           Learning is a process which continues till death of a person. For trying new things in life one has to be very enthusiastic, courageous and of course should have a strong will. When we try a new concept or idea there is always a dilemma regarding its feasibility. But to have an cutting edge over today’s rapid growing world we have to stay updated. So it’s is highly recommended for successful person to be try new things and learn to face challenges that come along with it.
         In today’s competitive world one has to try new things for surviving in the market. Let’s for example take an automobile manufacturing company. We already know how fast these companies upgrade their models and constantly bring innovation in them. If they fail to do so they might lose their grip over market. On the contrary there is always a risk whether their new models will be accepted by people or not. But despite these they take risks and continuously try new tweaks with their models.
        There is famous Japanese philosophy known as “KAIZEN” which means continuous innovation for improvement. This philosophy is used today by almost all the companies over world. According to this philosophy try new things for improving are not only limited to a person but also to a group of people as in companies who work together. This is the philosophy used for better managerial practices and to improve overall performance of a company. It is adopted from worker level to top level management. And more importantly not only in companies but also in their personal life.
          There are few people who try to learn new things for fun and recreation also. There was a man in my language learning class who already knew 8 European languages and top of that he was learning the 9th one at the age of 65. I truly admire qualities of such type of person.
         For learning new things there can various reasons. Some can be individual or can be related to group also. According to me it is worth taking the risk.

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?

Hi, I think this essay is an improvement over your last one. You started out with a good structure, but your second body paragraph was a bit weaker and your third paragraph did not really contribute much at all. You have some good vocabulary, but many of your words were used incorrectly and some of your sentence structures sounded unclear or awkward. Overall, I would rate this a 3 out of 5.

Hey Luschen thanks a lot your reply

I timed and wrote the essay for 30 min. as in toefl so the conclusion part was little short as i was out of time.