Please rate my essay. Thank you in advance!

I am very thankful to you for checking and rating my essay. You are respected teacher that I am lucky to know and be learned. I will take TOEFL test on 25 Aug but I am very worried about my writing ability. Please guide me how I can reach 4 or 4.5 point for an independent essay. Please show me which element (grammar, word choice ideas and supporting details) I should practice more to get such scores.
Here is my essay.:smiley:

Topic 62: What do you want most in a friend – someone who is intelligent or who has sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of the characteristic is most important to you?

Different people hold different opinions toward the most worthy characteristic of an ideal friend. I have many friends. Each of them possesses typical straits, strengths and weakneses. However, in my opnion a friend that I want most is reliable one

First and foremost, having reliable friend creates chances for me to share all of my problems. Needless to say, everyone has secrets, problems that she does not want others to know but feel comfortable when sharing them with someone believable. I always have many problems that make me think a lot and be distracted from work. More seriously only when I can tell somebody my problems, can I clear them away. Fortunately, with appearance of a credible friend, I am likely to share everything without worry that my secrets will be spreaded out. My best friend, the person I think of first when I want to share my problems is a reliable one. She is very good listener. Even when she has no idea to help me, can not give me any advice, I still reduce part of tired and stressful feelings. Her listening is priceless are for me.

Secondly, a reliable friend always gives me truthworthy guides when necessary. It is apparently that recently, I am confronted with the problem that I am loosing my direction to go ahead. I am also not sure, not confident about the way I have chose to reach my goals. I think that my current studying methods are not effective. Thanks to my reliable friend, I now seem to be energized to move foward. Because of her reliability and her understanding of me I listen to believable advice from her without concerning. In addition, she makes me become optimistic about my choosen access. She also guides me useful methods to study and effective ways to focus more on work.

To sum up, sharing and guidance of a reliable friend are convincing reasons for my preference. I highly recommend that people should take my essay as a credible guide to adopt their favor toward a best friends

TOEFL listening discussions: What does an unlimited parking pass include?

Hi, Hanglib I thought your writing in this one was very good. But looking at your essay, your examples don’t always seem to support your thesis. I guess it depends on what you mean by reliable. I take reliable to mean someone who will do what they say, who always comes when they say that will, someone you can count on. Your first paragraph on the other hand describes someone who is compassionate, sympathetic, and a good listener. These are good qualities, but I don’t think they are synonymous with reliable. Your second paragraph seems to describe someone who is wise and gives good advice. That is a great quality too, but it still seems different to me than reliable. I have a friend who sounds a like like your friend, compassionate, kind, a good listener, but he is always 15 minutes late to every outing and often forgets about plans we had, so I think he is unreliable. I don’t know how the official grader would feel about this, as I said your writing is very good, I would rate it a 4 based on the writing. I really liked your detailed and personal examples, I think they sound very natural. I don’t know what your weakest point is, maybe grammar, but it is very important to make sure you are addressing the prompt correctly.

I understood my wrong understanding. Thank you so much.